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kaminocasey · 3 years ago

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Bonsoir

A/N: So, this is the first chapter of Bonsoir. A fic I've been planning and working on for a bit. This is going to be a long fic. I have 23 chapters planned!

I've decided to make this my first OC fic. If you're not into OC's, that's totally okay! No hard feelings <3 I'd been going back and forth with it myself for a while.

This is based on that Gregor blurb I wrote a couple weeks ago called "Stay"

Here is the song Bonsoir is based on. Here is the playlist I made.

Bonsoir Masterlist

Chapter One: Galaxy's Edge

Summary: Bookshop owner, Cassia Nu, decides to go out with her friends where she meets Gregor.

Pairing: Pre MIA ep!Gregor x OC!Cassia Nu

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI; Alcohol mentioned, jokes about being murdered, smut, oral (f receiving), public sex, sex in a park

Word Count: 3.3K

The setting sun shines through the bookstore’s front windows, casting a pretty rainbow through all the crystal prism pieces hanging in the windows, throwing a beautiful multicolored glow over the books. Cassia loves that the most about her bookshop. She’s tried hard over the years to make her bookshop seem like her.

She got her love of books from her Great Aunt, Jocosta. No one else in the family loved books quite like them. They were two peas in a pod when Cassia was younger, constantly taking trips to the park to read. Now, Aunt Joc was way too busy running the library at the Jedi temple. She loves to send Cassia postcards every few weeks, though. Cassia has them hanging on the wall behind the register for everyone to see.

“Hey Cash, I’m heading home for the night.” Her employee and friend, Mara tells her.

Mara has been Cassia’s best friend since grade school. The story of how they met is one for the books. Almost quite literally.

Cassia had never been a confrontational person. Mara, on the other hand, never took any shit from anyone ever. Cassia had admired her, immediately, wanting desperately to be more like the girl in her class.

One day a boy had started to pick on Cassia when she was reading a book while the other kids played around her. Cassia of course didn’t know what to do. She tried to ignore him, but then he made the mistake of taking her book. Mara immediately ran over, took the book out of his hands and smacked him in the face with it.

“Maybe you should pick on someone with smaller books.” Mara yelled at him as he ran away, then turned to Cassia. “This is a really good book, by the way.”

They’ve been inseparable since.

“You sure you won’t come out with Penn, Ehren, and I tonight?” Cassia asks her, counting the drawer before locking it up for the night.

“Yeah, I’ve got an appointment to look at a new place in the morning.” Mara hangs up her apron.

Oh, that’s right. Cassia completely forgot. “I’m sorry. It must have escaped my mind with inventory last night.”

“That’s alright. I’ll see you tomorrow, though.” Mara waves as she heads out the back.

Mara actually doesn’t care much for Penn and Ehren. She says they have no desire to get their lives together and just wanna drown themselves in drinks and sex. Cassia only went out with them every couple of months, so she couldn’t really complain.

Cassia doesn’t take long to lock up and head out, meeting Penn and Ehren in front of the shop. She wasn’t sure where they wanted to go tonight. Perhaps the Uscru District. Uscru was about to be hopping at this time, granted it’s in the lower levels and Penn isn’t a fan of the lower levels of Coruscant. Ehren couldn’t care less as long as they’re able to “forget their own name”. Their words, not Cassia’s.

“CASH!!!” Penn shouts, clearly having stopped somewhere for a pre-outing drink… or few.

“Hello, Penn.” Cassia kisses her friend on the cheek and then Ehren. “Where are we off to?”

“We decided on 79s. We’ve never been before.” Ehren tells Cassia, more calmly than Penn.

“The clone bar? Do they let regular civilians in?” Cassia asks, confused.

“How do you think the clones end up getting laid?” Penn laughs, obnoxiously loud.

Cassia already regrets agreeing to go out. She loved her friends but sometimes, they didn’t know when enough was enough. She feared that Mara was completely right.

“Oh kriff… I forgot to feed Wedge.” Cassia realizes. “You guys go ahead. I’ll catch up.”

“Are you sure?” Ehren asks.

“Yeah, go ahead!” Cassia waves them away to run up to her apartment. “Wedge! Dinner time.”

She hears the familiar purr of the chunky orange tooka that comes to greet her at the door. She pulls his food down off the top of the cabinet and shakes it out into his food dish, filling his water as well and then gives him a few loving scratches behind his ears.

She looks down at her pile of mail that desperately needs sorting through.

Maybe I should just stay in tonight… She thinks to herself. No, you need to go out. At least for an hour and then you can come home and crack open that new book.

I should at least change…

Cassia runs to her closet to go put on that “new” dress that Penn got her for Life Day last year. It’s a little snug but she thinks it hugs her curves well enough. She gives herself one last onceover in the mirror, says bye to Wedge with the promise of being home soon, and runs down to catch a cab.

On her way to 79s, she realizes what a terrible idea this was. Why would she need to go out when she has everything she needs at home? A good book. Drinks. Wedge…

Ugh. This is why no one invites you out anymore. You’re so boring now, since opening The Spine. You don’t know how to let loose anymore. Just go and get drunk with your friends. You can always read your book tomorrow.

When the cab finally pulls up to 79s, Cassia pays the cabbie and gets out. She slowly walks toward the doors. It feels like her body is trying to pull her back away.

What is wrong with you?

She looks through the doors, finding Penn and Ehren dancing with a couple of clones on the dance floor. This is definitely not her idea of fun. She knows she’ll just be a downer if she goes in.

Plus, they probably won’t even notice you didn’t show up. Cassia starts to back away.

“You look like you’re really debating whether or not you want to go in.” Cassia hears a voice noticing her arguing with herself.

She laughs, awkwardly, looking toward the voice, finding a clone with short smooth hair watching her, curiously. He was really handsome, grinning at her with a sort of curious yet knowing smile.

“My friends wanted to come out.” She explains.

“But you didn’t.” He nods, understanding.

“Yeah.” She sighs.

“Gregor.” He introduces himself with a wave.

“Cassia.” She waves back, smiling back.

“It’d be a shame for that nice dress to go to waste, Cassia.” He chuckles.

He wasn’t wrong. She changed into the dress for a reason. Even if only to wear it for an hour or so.

“Are you trying to convince me to go in, Gregor?” She quirks an eyebrow.

“Oh, Maker no. I came here to babysit my brothers.” He shrugs like it’s the norm.

“You sound like you know a better place.” She laughs.

“A quieter one for sure. Better view too.” He winks.

Wow, he’s really handsome. Witty, too. Definitely easy on the eyes, as well.

“That’s not code for murdering a woman in a back alley is it?” She grins.

“Nah. I get enough killing action out in the field.” He laughs. “Plus, I’d hate to mess up that pretty dress.”

“Alright. Just know, my not drunk friend knows where I’m at all times.” Cassia’s talking about Mara.

They always had each other’s locations on their comms, since neither of them had anyone else to really check in on them.

“I promise you’re safer with me than any of those goofs in there.” He nods toward 79s.

“Why’s that?” She asks as he hails a cab.

“I’m a clone commando captain.” He smirks.

“Wouldn’t that just mean you’re more than likely to get away with it?” She teases him.

He thinks about it for a moment, opening the door to the cab. “Hmmm… I suppose you’re onto something. You sure you’re not the murderer?”

Cassia laughs as she gets into the cab. Gregor scoots in beside her and gives the cabbie an address. It sounds familiar to her but it’s definitely a place she’s never been.

“So, what do clone commandos do?” She asks, looking at him.

“We’re basically the special operations of the GAR.” He explains.

“That sounds exciting.” She grins.

“It can be.” He nods. “What do you do?”

“I own a bookstore called The Spine.” She tells him.

He looks genuinely amazed. “Wow. That’s clever. I like that.”

“Thank you.” She smiles, softly.

They continue talking the rest of the cab ride, finding things in common in every topic, until they finally get to a park near the sea. Cassia has never been to this part of the city, overlooking the Western Sea. She actually rarely strayed more than five miles from The Spine. It’s so beautiful, she can’t believe she didn’t know about this place.

“So, why here?” She asks him, looking around.

“It’s my favorite place on Coruscant.” He tells her.

“Not 79s?” She teases.

“Definitely not.” He scoffs, playfully.

Gregor watches her, his cheeky grin never leaving his face. Cassia takes her shoes off and walks over to sit in the patch of grass at the park’s edge, resting her feet in the water. Gregor rolls his pants up and does the same. She realizes that he’s sitting so close that she can feel his arm against hers. It surprises her how much she doesn’t want him to move.

She looks between them at the flowery weeds and starts picking them. Gregor watches her fingers. He’s never been so entranced by someone’s fingers before.

“What are you doing?” He asks, curiously.

“You’ve never made flower bracelets before?” She asks him, still looking at the ring of yellow flowers forming in her hands.

“Those are weeds.” He tells her.

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah but they’re pretty weeds.”

“If you say so.” He smiles with wonder at her that she could find beauty in such a simple thing. “And no. I’ve never made weed bracelets before. Clones are from Kamino. It’s just water there. No land.”

“Oh. Are you part aquatic then?” She teases.

He lets out a really loud laugh, something he’s not done in weeks. “You’re real funny, you know that?”

She laughs softly, smiling up at Gregor.

“I’m sure you get told this a lot, but you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He doesn’t break eye contact with Cassia.

“I don’t, actually. Probably because I rarely leave my apartment.” She chuckles. “But thank you, that’s very kind of you to say.”

She finishes knotting the flowers together, holding them over Gregor’s wrist so she can tie them to his wrist. He knows right away, he’s never taking it off. If it falls off, he’ll carry it with him always.

“So tell me more about yourself.” He looks up from the bracelet to find her watching him.

“There’s not much to tell, I’m afraid.” She replies. “I don’t live as exciting a life as you. You’ll probably think I’m boring.”

“That couldn’t be possible.” He softly runs his finger over the petals of the bracelet, wanting to touch her instead.

The bracelet was surprisingly durable. Probably better than what some of the newbies he’s trained could have done.

“I own a bookstore. And a tooka. That’s my life.” She shrugs.

“A tooka?” He asks with playful disgust. “Nasty little buggers, aren’t they?”

She laughs. “Not my Wedge. He’s sweet as can be.”

“Wedge?” He asks, playfully confused. “Why Wedge?”

“He looks like a Wedge. Believe me, if you ever see him, you’ll agree.” She bumps her shoulder with his, grinning.

“I hope to see him for myself then. If only just to at least see him so I can give you more names to choose from.” He laughs.

Wow, he has a nice laugh. She wants to hear him laugh again.

He looks down at her lips, wanting so badly to lean in to kiss her. Would she push him away? Call him a creep and go running? He wouldn’t blame her.

She looks up at him with the softest smile he’s ever seen. He already knows he doesn’t want to say goodbye.

Before he can talk himself out of it, he brushes his lips against Cassia’s. She goes still for a second but then melts into him, closing her eyes as she lets one hand cup his cheek. Gregor rests a hand on her thigh, her skin exposed from her dress sliding up a bit. Cassia pushes her thigh against his and he pulls away to look her in the face, looking for consent. She nods with a curious smile and she helps guide his hand up slowly until he finds her warmth. She lets out a soft sigh and Gregor already knows it’s one of the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard.

There’s no way he can let this girl go. Without another thought, he pulls her into his lap. She lands over the bulge in his pants with a soft gasp and he groans, softly. She grinds down against him, causing both of them to gasp again against each other’s mouths.

“You better not drop me in the water.” Cassia laughs against his lips.

He chuckles. “Wouldn’t dream of it, cyar’ika.”

She has no idea what that last word he just said was. She liked the way it rolled off of his tongue, though. Hopefully, it was a good word.

She continues grinding her clothed warmth over his bulge.

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to cum in my pants.” He pants against her lips.

“Would you like to cum in me instead?” She laughs, her lips moving to his neck.

Gregor immediately pulls both of them back away from the water right then and flips Cassia over so she’s on her back. He yanks down her underwear and slides down her body so he can taste her. She whimpers loudly as he dives his tongue into her core. Thankfully, no one was out this time of night for a late night stroll. He wanted to ruin her.

“You taste so good.” He whispers.

Her legs wrap around his head and he hums against her, loving the way her thighs feel against him. He starts to insert a finger into her soaked core, but she gently places a hand on his head.

“Stop.” Cassia sighs.

Gregor immediately pulls away, looking up at her, apologetically. “Are you o-”

She cuts him off by forcing him to roll over on his back so she can straddle his face. Her dress is pushed up to her hips now as she looks down at him. He looks perfectly content as he continues as he was, locking his arms over her thighs, anchoring her down to his mouth. He wants to taste her for days. Weeks. Months. Years. He never wants to forget this moment as long as he lives.

He continues licking into Cassia until she’s a moaning mess above him, gasping his name like it’s a prayer to the Maker. She feels her release building up and they both want nothing more than for Cassia to come all over Gregor’s face.

“Come for me.” He pants, sucking on her clit faster.

She immediately gets thrown over the edge, crying Gregor’s name out into the cool night air. She’s panting heavily as he flips her back over on her back so that he can kiss her again.

She thrusts her tongue into his mouth, excited to taste herself on his tongue and that almost makes him cum in his pants again. Fully excited, she unbuttons his pants, releasing his length from its confinements and she moans again, licking her lips.

“You want to fuck me?” She asks, surprising even herself.

Cassia has never uttered those words in her life. Gregor was doing something to her. Something new and exciting.

“More than anything.” Gregor admits. “You’re sure?”

“Positive.” She whispers, wrapping her legs around him.

He slowly sinks into her soaked warmth, both of them moaning all over again, unable to help themselves. Cassia didn’t sleep around so she wasn’t used to this.

“You’re so… kriffing tight.” Gregor lets out a strangled moan, biting her exposed shoulder.

“You’re bigger than I had anticipated.” She huffs out a laugh.

He laughs with her. “I’m not. But you’re sweet for saying so.”

He starts thrusting into her slowly, dragging his length out of her just to sink back into her heavily, making her cry out for him every single time.

This woman… This gorgeous, funny ,and witty woman already has Gregor wrapped around her finger and she doesn’t even know it. No woman has ever had such a quick impact on Gregor. He wants to make her laugh every single day. He wants to make her breakfast and bring it to her in bed every single day. That’s not just lust.

“Your pussy is…” He lets out a breath. “I have no words.”

She laughs again. He’d do anything to hear that sound. Without a warning, he comes way too quickly, filling her up until she spills out onto the grass. Cassia moans with him, loving the way he fills her so full. She wants this moment to last just as much as Gregor does.

They lay there a little longer, Gregor beside Cassia, holding her in his arms. Neither one of them knows what to say, so they just look into each other’s eyes, basking in the Coruscant moonlight.

“I should probably get you home, huh?” He whispers after a while.

She sighs. “Yeah, probably.”

“Gotta get home to Wedge.” He playfully cringes.

She laughs again and he takes note of the sound, knowing he’s never going to forget it. It may just be what gets him through the war at this point. That beautiful, innocent laugh. He helps her up and they comm for a cab. She tries to fix her hair to no avail, so Gregor helps her smooth it down. Her heart rate speeds up immediately, looking up at him, so close, being so gentle with her. He looks down at her again and she desperately pulls him by the shirt collar to her, crushing her lips to his. He wraps his arms around her lower back, pulling her as close as possible. He wants to remember every single detail of her. Her taste, her eyes, her skin, her hair, her smell. All of her.

On the way back to her apartment, Cassia is quiet. She tucks herself into Gregor’s side, resting her head on his shoulder as he has his arm tucked securely around her. He allows himself to rest his cheek on the top of her head.

She feels like she’s known him so much longer than just a few hours. She’s never been so drawn to another person. How could one man have this much of an impact on her so quickly?

“Really wanna see you again.” He murmurs.

She nods, eyes closed. “Would love that.”

Once they arrive in front of her bookstore, he gets out with her, telling the cabbie to keep the meter running. He takes note of Wedge sitting in the windowsill up above the shop, which must be Cassia’s apartment.

“So this is The Spine, huh?” He asks, grinning.

“Yeah.” She nods, smiling back at him, sleepily. “You wanna-?”

“As much as I’d love to, I can’t. Gotta be up early for training.” He tells her, taking her hand and kissing it. “We’ll see each other again.”

“Promise?” She leans in close, looking up at him with lidded eyes.

“I promise.” He leans in the rest of the way, kissing her gently.

Her lips are like the galaxy’s edge, her kiss being that of a constellation falling into place. He’s already addicted.

Gregor watches her go into her apartment then gets back into the cab. As he looks at the ring of flowery weeds around his wrist, he knows he’s done for and he can’t bring himself to be even slightly upset about it.

TAGS: @livi-s @studioramekin @zoeykallus @brynhildrmimi @madameminor @dumfanting @rain-on-kamino @wolveria @misogirl828 @rexandechosandwich @corona-one @tecker @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond

#The Clone Wars #TCW Gregor #TBB Gregor #Gregor x OC #Gregor x Cassia #kaminocaseyfics #qytgregor

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bnha-more-like-bnh-gay · 3 years ago

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More random BNHA headcanons I have laying around:

They all like going to the craft store and making little gifts for each other, and regularly do this for secret Santa and/or birthdays. Shouto insists on paying every time

Uraraka, Aoyama, and Izuku host game nights of ‘which teacher said what?’ Where they’ll print out many odd quotes from their teachers. Some of the categories include, “puns and jokes,” and “they’re not mad, just disappointed.” The reigning winner so far is a tie between Koda and kendo

Similarly: in class B, Monoma hosts a game night of, “what has class A been up to this week?” Where he asks things like, “which villain attacked them this week?” “Which bastard said what?” “Which teacher have they disappointed?” And so on. The only reason he has stopped naming himself the reining champion, is because he has realized people will stop coming if he continues to do so

The deku protection squad has weekly meetings, where they discuss Izuku’s many injuries, how to improve security, and the miscellaneous grievances. They also have a positive section, where they discuss how they helped stop izuku frim being injured that week. Momo gives out candy for a job well done

Mina and momo have everyone in class A do a manditory spa night, where they enforce a mandatory relaxation period

Class A threw a full on party when M*neta was expelled. Everyone at u.a. was invited

Mei, izuku, Denki, momo, and mina have adhd

Shouto and mina have dyslexia

Most people in UA just refer to izuku as Problem Child

Kaminari, Aoyama, and Izuku all work together fairly often

Momo, tsu, and Koda are the three individuals who class A fears disappointing more than Aizawa. Because they give you the whole, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” look, which is worse than detention

Kendo and Iida meet up once a week to train and complain about their classmates

Kaminari snd Shouto are the duo we never knew we needed. Kaminari comes up with dumb ideas, Todoroki is chaotic and has no desire to abide by any sort of order, so he does the dumb ideas

Sero has two younger adopted siblings, and one much older brother. They have two cats, a dog, and a bird

Mei has two moms, a snake, and three turtles

Shinsou has polyamorous parents, a younger sibling, and a cat

Class A has cuddle piles

Mina, Aoyama, momo, and izuku are often asked to do people’s makeup

Inko adopted eri

Kouta writes anonymous hate mail to bakugou

Jirou and Shouto Rick roll everyone

Kaminari is trilingual: Japanese, English, and Russian. He is also learning Spanish. He started learning languages after hyperfixating on English one time in elementary school

Kaminari and izuku both write fanfics; they beta read for each other

Jirou comes into the common room every Saturday to ask for new song suggestions. After he started to see this pattern, izuku made a playlist for her

Jirou helped Shouto express his emotions through music. He then made playlists for everyone important to him, along with some petty ones for bakugou and Endeavor

Monoma once caught wind of class A planning on going ghost hunting and mocked them. Once Mina asked if he was scared, he blew off class B’s study session in favor of tagging along. Midnight caught them and chaperoned. When they showed up late to next morning class, Aizawa gave them all detention, but our midnight in charge of it. She brought candy and they ended up having a very fun afternoon (I am writing a fic for this)

Ojiro and Uraraka have everyone hand-to-hand combat training

Mina, izuku, mei, tsu, sero, toru, and Tokoyami are vent gremlins

Izuku has a handprint shaped scar from bakugou because of that one scene (you know the one)

Mina calls everyone “love”

Aoyama listens to Jazmin Bean

For a solid week, Shouto played Hayloft by mother mother every time his father entered a room

Iida drinks la croix. I don’t know why it’s so important to me, but I feel like he would

Mic started a lgbtq+ club (SGA)

Midnight adopts Shouto

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solarwonux · 4 years ago

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41. “Dance with me.”

59. “I’m still sore from last night.”

ceo!yoongi x reader

w.c: 1.6k

warnings: a little suggestive if you like squint, sweet teeth numbing fluff

note: please please let me know your thoughts, it helps me out a lot. Also send in a drabble request hehehe.

masterlist || drabble game

Yoongi loved mornings.

Yoongi loved mornings more, now that the two of you had finally moved in together after years of dancing around the subject. He loved waking up next to you, with your face buried into the side of his body and your tiny snores escaping your dry chapped lips, echoing against the eggshell walls of the room. He loved the way the thin rays of the morning sun peek through the slits of the blackout curtains. The light dancing against your body, illuminating all his favorite features. Which was all of you. He loved the way you would stir, and he would race against time to shut his eyes before you could catch him starring at you.

You always did.

You will never let him know that you knew he always woke up first to love you silently without you or anyone in the world there to interrupt him. It was his most valuable and cherished secret, the only one he kept from you. So, you vowed to take the fact that you knew about it to the grave.

Today though, you had beat him at his own game. You had woken up first, silently watching as his breath was calm and concentrated. The minuscule stress lines that had appeared throughout his face over the years of overwork, nowhere to be seen. He looked peaceful, younger; like he didn’t carry the entire weight of the world on his shoulders.

Despite cherishing his sleep more than anything in the world, you understood now, why he always woke up first. He looked so beautiful, so raw, so intimate, so vulnerable, like a work of art. And you could hope that he felt the same way.

You found yourself never wanting to take your eyes away from his sleeping form, afraid you would miscount the intervals between his inhales and his exhales. Afraid you would miss the way his lips parted in inaudible snores or the way he would pout whenever he moved. Yet, the clock on his bedside table thought otherwise.

8:30am

Last night, you had made a promise to yourself before falling asleep, that you would wake up early to make him breakfast. It was his day off, the office didn’t need their big bad CEO that never once seemed to crack a smile, even if he was impressed or excited. You never understood why he kept such a fake front for his employees when they knew that he was the biggest softy on the planet, especially when it came to his loved ones. He would turn heaven and hell over if it meant he could protect everyone he loved. He would even sacrifice himself to ensure that nothing ever happened to his friends, family, and you. But you supposed that his fleeting image was all part of his job, so you let him be.

You took one last look at your sleeping boyfriend, biting your lower lip, contemplating on whether you should just stay in bed until he woke up. Or get up to prepare him a whole breakfast feast just like he deserved. You almost picked the first option until your stomach grumbled lowly, indicating that the second option was the better option, unfortunately. So, you got up silently, and carefully, afraid that any wrong move would wake him up and ruin your surprise.

The air in your lungs got caught in the back of your throat as you saw him stir slightly. Sleepy incoherent mumbles fell out of his lips. You froze in fear, your robe midway on, watching as he tugged the sheets up to his chin and sunk further into the bed. When you realized he wasn’t getting up anytime soon you finished putting on your robe and quickly made your way into the kitchen.

“You know it’s my day off right?” Yoongi mumbled as he walked into the kitchen, sweatpants low on his hips, his messy hair sticking up in all different directions. A slight blush appeared on your cheeks when you remembered how your fingers had been tangled up in it, as you screamed out his name like a mantra, while he made love to you until the late morning hours.

“And you don’t have to be at work for another three hours.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and gave your temple a sweet kiss, “good morning honey, how’d you sleep?” He rested his head against your shoulder, clinging onto you like he was afraid you would vanish.

“I slept like a baby.” You smiled cutting the last stem of the strawberry you had diligently been working on before he walked in. “Morning to you too sleepy head.” You turned your face, leaving a delicate kiss against his bed head. Yoongi smiled, he loved waking up next to you, admiring you silently as you slept. But he also loved being wrapped up in your warmth as you went around doing your daily morning routine. You always complained about how he never let you get things done. That the extra weight clinging onto you like a koala was only slowing you down. He knew you secretly loved it and would not be able to go about your day peacefully if he just stopped.

In fact, he had tested it out once after the two of you had gotten into a petty fight. You had called him that day at lunch time in tears, claiming that everything had gone wrong because he had ignored you all morning. Truth be told he had felt the same way. That was the day he truly realized that he could never live without you.

“I was hoping you would wake up after I finished making breakfast.” You pouted putting your knife down and gathering all the strawberries you had tentatively cut up putting them into a bowl.

“And I was hoping we could spend the entire morning in bed, but we can’t always get what we want in life can we?” He mumbled against your clothed shoulder. His fingers cheekily playing with the knot of your robe.

You turned in his arms, “all morning? Doing what?” Your arms made their way around his neck pulling him closer.

Yoongi smirked, his fingers itching to untie your robe praying you weren’t wearing anything underneath. “I have a few ideas, some good, some bad. But I mostly just wanted to keep sleeping with you in my arms.” He shrugged, running his tongue along his bottom lip, wetting it before closing the distance and planting a soft, intimate kiss against your lips.

It was savory, enough to keep you on your toes, wanting for more when he pulled away. “Good because I’m still sore from last night.” You said pointedly. Yoongi threw his head back laughing, his chest swelling up with pride as he remembered how you didn’t want to stop after three rounds. Even begging him, getting down on your knees for him in the shower. The two of you still hadn’t christened your newly shared apartment but he was positive that last night would’ve been the night if you hadn’t fallen asleep.

“That’s on you my little minx, you didn’t want to stop, I just fulfilled your desires.” He winked, kissing your cheek and moved aside, an arm still around your waist as he reached over for the Bluetooth speaker he kept in the kitchen.

“Hey!” You scoffed, hitting his chest lightly, “this isn’t completely on me, you came home and didn’t even let me greet you properly before you were carrying me off to our room.”

“Honestly babe, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He smirked as he scrolled through his phone. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he looked through his music selection.

“We’re going to have to work on that memory of yours. It's starting to worry me.” You said in fake concern and circled your arms around his waist pulling him close, “I can help.” You whispered before planting a small kiss on the blooming flowers you had left on his chest last night. You could never get enough of him.

“Mhm, I’ll take you up on your offer later.” He set his phone down on the kitchen counter, the soft melody of an unfamiliar song sounding through his Bluetooth speaker. “Right now, dance with me?” He tilted his head to the side. He didn’t give you enough time to answer when he was already leading you to the middle of the kitchen, his arms finding their perspective place around your waist as he started swaying the two of you in place.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, giving his nose a tiny peck, earning a boyish smile from Yoongi. “What is this?”

“A song Namjoon and I are working on...for our wedding.” The afterthought falling out his lips before he had time to stop it. It wasn’t until he felt your body go rigid in his arms that he realized what he had said. “Um, forget I said that.”

“We just moved in together and you’re already planning our wedding playlist, I didn’t think you would be the type. What’s next you’re going to show me the Pinterest board you created?” You joked ignoring the way your heart was racing, hoping he couldn’t feel it through the thinness of your silk robe.

He groaned, annoyed. So what? Maybe he did have a Pinterest board with ideas for your wedding. He had been adding pictures to it since he met you five years ago at Junkook’s grand opening for his art gallery. The second he spotted you laughing along with his best friend, hard enough for champagne to come out of your nose. The ice around his heart melted and he knew he would be spending the rest of his life with you. He’s been writing songs about it ever since.

“Maybe another time, we have enough time for that, right now we have two hours before you have to go to work and I plan on milking every second of it.”

#kdiarynet #kpopscape #bts fanfiction #bts imagines #bts fluff #bts scenarios #bts drabbles #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts yoongi #bts suga #yoongi fluff #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi imagines #yoongi drabbles

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cower-before-power · 3 years ago

Text

Naked Attraction

Summary: A typical day in your art class turn into anything but when you’re introduced to your nude model for the week- a devastatingly gorgeous man named Levi.

Pairing: Modern AU Levi Ackerman x F!Reader

TW: Nudity, swearing, suggestive content, age gap (reader is 20, Levi is 30), dick jokes, reader is thirsty and lewds Levi hard, perhaps poorly written stuff about art and drawing because I literally know nothing haha

(minors please do not interact, just to be safe)

Link to A03 here

A/N: Hello all! This is my entry for @ghost-party’s Meet Cute Collab with my darling husband Levi. I’ve never written for him before so I was a little nervous haha, I hope I did him justice! Thank you to everyone who reads, likes, comments, and reblogs- you are all wonderful and I appreciate your support! I hope you enjoy, my sweet potatoes!

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“Morning,” Jean greets you with a crooked smile and a steaming cup of coffee. It’s the good stuff from the café by his apartment, your favourite thing to help your brain shift into creative mode. “You’re later than usual.”

You grab the cup from him, sighing as you feel the warmth bleed into your hands. “Overslept. Barely had time to get dressed and brush my teeth.”

Jean’s eyes rove over you as you sink into your chair, humming to yourself as you sip on your drink. “I can see. Do you know you’re wearing two different shoes? And I think your sweater is on inside out. Why do you still even have that ugly thing anyways?”

“Thank you for your comments,” you roll your eyes. “I know I look like a hot mess and I don’t need any words from you, Mr. I Asked The Nude Model Out And Got Shot Down.”

Jean’s ears turn red, and he shoots you a dirty look before busying himself with arranging his pencils. “Shut up.”

You snicker to yourself as you set up your own area. Last week’s model had been a soft, pretty brunette that had instantly made Jean all starry-eyed, like a teenage boy with his first crush. It was generally considered a bit taboo to ask out the nude models, but he’d thrown that aside and gone for the kill after she’d slid back into her clothes. She’d laughed and patted his cheek like he was a naughty child asking for candy before dinner. Then proceeded to walk out and climb onto the back of her boyfriend’s motorcycle (but not before making out with said boyfriend for a good 5 minutes, minimum).

Jean had been left with red cheeks and no date, and you’d been left with great blackmail material.

“I wonder who will be our victim today,” you decide to take mercy on your poor friend and change the subject. “Most likely a guy, since we had a woman last week.”

“We’ll know in about 5 minutes,” Jean looks up at the clock on the wall. “Old Cueball is never late.”

Sure enough, in exactly 5 minutes your very bald and very punctual professor casually strolls through the door. A short man in a green coat is following him, presumably your newest subject. You crane your neck, trying to get a better look at his face, but all you can see is dark hair falling like a curtain over pale skin.

“Good morning class,” Professor Pyxis greets you, tossing his briefcase down on his desk with his usual nonchalant air. “I see you are all ready, so let’s get right to it.” He gestures to the person beside him. “This is Mr. Levi Ackerman. He’s your model for the week.”

The class murmurs in curiosity as the mentioned Levi Ackerman turns to face the room.

You swear your heart actually skips a beat.

Steel gray eyes observe the room from a face that practically begs to be immortalized through art. Every line is hard and strong, covered in clear skin that looks like it would slide under your fingers like the smoothest silk. Your eyes drink in his features greedily, from the regal bridge of his nose to the proud edge of his jaw. You decide your favorite thing though, is his cheeks. They are utterly cherubic, round and full and dusted ever so lightly with the lightest shade of pink.

He’s possibly the prettiest man you have ever seen.

“Hey, I know him,” Jean whispers, cutting off your entranced thoughts. “That’s Mikasa’s distant cousin, the one I told you she found on Ancestry.com last year. I’ve met him once, he’s got a stick so far up his butt, he’d need surgery to remove it. Never would have pegged him for the type to do this sort of thing.”

You vaguely remember a previous conversation involving Jean’s childhood friend and some long lost relatives.

“He doesn’t look that uptight,” you muse, too busy admiring the way his lips glint temptingly under the fluorescents to really process Jean’s words. “He’s beautiful, like something out of a Renaissance painting.”

Jean opens his mouth to reply, but Pyxis begins to speak.

“As usual, draw whichever side of him is facing you, all angles will be graded equally,” your professor plops himself down in his chair, already scrolling through his phone to find the playlist for the day. “Completed drawings to be submitted to me by the end of class on Friday. Please remember be respectful and courteous to our guest. Mr. Ackerman, whenever you’re ready.”

The man nods to your professor, already slipping out of his coat as he steps up onto the platform in the center of the room. You watch, mesmerized, as he proceeds to shed himself of his clothes. It’s rigid and methodical (he folds his clothes like he’s worked his whole life in a department store), but somehow oddly endearing. Every inch of his body that is revealed is consumed eagerly by your shameless stare, and you sincerely hope you don’t start drooling. By the time he carefully removes his final items, you feel like you are vibrating in your seat.

Holy fucking shit, he’s built like a god. Like Michelangelo himself carved him out of a block of the most pristine marble. You trace your gaze down the column of his throat, over the strong shoulders and sinewy arms, the impressive set of abs, the thighs that look like they could crush your head and you’d be nothing but happy about it. It takes a minute before you’re able to make yourself look between his thighs, and when you finally do, you have to looks away immediately. Good grief, even that is stupidly handsome. You can’t help but wonder if it would feel as nice as it looks.

Your face heats from your lewd thoughts, and you grip your pencil so hard it almost snaps. Beside you, Jean snickers.

“You okay over there? It looks like you’re about to explode.”

“Can it,” you hiss, glad that the ambient music Pyxis chose will probably keep your conversation private. “I can’t help it that I’m looking at the most gorgeous dick attached to the most gorgeous man I think I’ve ever seen.”

“You haven’t seen mine.”

“I don’t own a microscope.”

“Ooooh, see if I buy you coffee tomorrow, bitch.”

You stick your tongue out at him before turning back to your easel. As you move, you catch the gaze of Levi, his expression unreadable. Warmth creeps up the back of you neck, and you duck behind your sketchpad in embarrassment. You seriously hope he didn’t hear you, he’d probably report you to Pyxis for being creepy. You decide to lock all your stupid horny thoughts deep within the recesses of your mind, and take a few deep breaths to clear your head.

It works, and as you touch pencil to paper, the desire to create overflows inside of you.

Unsurprisingly, you become utterly engrossed in your work, your pencil sweeping over the pad with almost a mind of it’s own. Levi is the perfect model; you swear he’s not even breathing as he majestically hold his pose without even a quiver. The contours of his body spring to life on the page, and you can’t stop the joyful smile that blooms on your lips as you work. It’s times like these, when everything is so perfect, that you truly realize just how much you love making art.

Before you know it, Pyxis announces class is over, and you’ll resume with Levi tomorrow. The man of the hour begins to re-dress as your fellow classmates pack up their supplies and file out. You absent mindedly wave to Jean, who is practically sprinting out the door so he can make his next class all the way across campus. You’re still engrossed in your drawing, staring at it with critical eyes. It good, one of the best starts you’ve had all year, but now that the high of creating has worn off, you can see where you need to improve.

“You’re very good.”

You gasp and jump, whirling around to find Levi standing behind you, eyes fixed on your sketch. How did he even get there? You hadn’t seen him or heard him.

“Oh, uh, Mr Ackerman!” You squeak, your heart racing like you’ve just run a marathon. “T-that’s very nice, I mean, thank- thank you very much!”

“It’s Levi,” your muse says, seemingly unbothered by your stammering. “Yours is going to be the best one here.”

You blink stupidly at his bold statement. “Did you look at all of them?”

“No,” Levi’s voice is firm, a tone that brokers no argument. “But you had the most joy on your face while you worked. That much passion doesn’t churn out stuff that looks like shit.”

“Oh, that’s only because you are such a great model,” you gush, insides turning warm at his praise. “You stayed so still and you looked so damn regal and you’re just so pretty and-” Your eyes go wide as you realize the absolute words vomit leaving your mouth, mortification slithering up your spine.

“I’m pretty?” Levi raises an eyebrow. “You think I’m pretty?”

“No!” You shout, and the man’s other eyebrow joins the first. “No wait, yes! I mean, fuck, I mean you are probably the most handsome man I’ve ever seen!”

Levi’s eyebrows have now practically become one with his hairline. You wring your hands, wishing the floor would just open up and swallow you. “I-well- come on, people must tell you how good looking you are! I can’t be the first.”

“No, but you certainly are the most enthusiastic about it,” Levi deadpans.

Oh, someone just put you out of your misery now.

“I’m sorry,” you offer, cringing internally at your complete ineptitude to hold a conversation with an attractive man. “I....get carried away sometimes.”

“It’s fine,” Levi’s stoic expression softens just a little. “It’s kind of nice to hear, actually. Usually I’m told I’m good looking, but ‘far too short’.”

“That’s bullshit.” you say vehemently, honestly shocked people would deny this man his godhood over something as trivial as height. “Who cares if you’re shorter? It doesn’t detract from you. What’s that phrase again? Good things come in small packages? Well, not that you’re small, I’m not saying that, I just meant-”

“Yes, you did seem to find my package....good,” Levi interrupts, and you swear you see the corners of his lips twitch upwards.

Your eyes widen in horror as your brain replays your hushed conversation with Jean. “You heard that?!”

“I’m told I have exceptionally good hearing.”

“Oh fuck me,” you groan, burying your face in your hands. “I am literally so, so, sorry. That was completely out of line. I have no excuse other than it’s clearly been too long since I’ve gotten some, but that’s no reason to make you uncomfortable. Please, if there’s anything I can do to to make it up to you, I’ll do it!”

“Have tea with me.””

Your head shoots up, surprise coloring your features. “What?”

“Tch, you heard me,” Levi tuts, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out his phone. “I haven’t got free time till Saturday-stupid Shitty Glasses wanting to trade shifts-but if you want to go out, give me your number and we can work out the details.”

You stare at him with your mouth open, unsure if this is really happening or you’re vividly daydreaming again.

“Umm, are you sure?” You ask, wondering if you should pinch yourself to see if you are indeed imagining things. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m wearing two different shoes and my sweater is inside out. Believe me when I say these sorts of fashion statements happen more often than not. Plus, I practically salivated over you like some sort of horny middle aged suburban housewife who hasn’t been laid in years.” You pause to take a breath, once again unable to stop the words from spewing forth like a fountain. “And I’m so awkward! I mean, are you comfortable in this conversation? And I can’t stop talking once I’ve gotten going, and I say the weirdest shit, and, and-”

“I like you,” he says simply, as if he’s just declared something as obvious as 1+1=2. “I couldn’t give a flying fuck about all the stuff you just said, you’re just... you, and I like it. So, do you want to go on a date or not?”

“O-oh,” you suddenly feel shy, your tummy filling with butterflies at the look of sincerity on his handsome face. You’d never met anyone quite like Levi Ackerman before, and you weren’t about to pass up the opportunity to get to know the man behind the drool-worthy muscles. “Uh, yes, please, I would like that. Very much.”

An almost relieved expression crosses Levi’s face, and he hands you his phone to type in your number. You notice the time as you do so, and sigh sadly as you hand him his device back.

“Well I better go,” you say reluctantly, suddenly fervently wishing it was Saturday already. “I’ve got another class in 15 minutes.”

“I’ll walk you there,” Levi says briskly, slipping his phone back into his coat. “To make sure you get there safely. Someone might murder you on account of their eyes being assaulted by that garish sweater. ” The corners of his lips twitch upwards once again, and you grow warm all over, from both his gentle teasing and the knowledge he isn’t quite ready to say goodbye yet either.

“Excuse me, I thought you said you didn’t give a ‘flying fuck’ about my attire,” you huff, but you’re grinning as you quickly pack up your bag.

“I don’t care it’s inside out, but you have to know that is the ugliest fucking color know to man,” Levi says, holding out his hand. Your brain malfunctions slightly for a moment, until you realize he’s offering to carry your bag for you. The butterflies inside you whip themselves into a frenzy as you pass him your stuff, your hand just grazing over his. Handsome, funny, honest, and sweet? How is this guy even real?

“I’ll have you know, this sweater is an absolute delight. When it’s inside right,” you stick up your nose, but unable to stop he laugh that slips past your lips.

Levi rolls his eyes in an almost playful manner. “Doubtful .”

You’re not sure where it comes from, but a sudden rush of confidence fills you. “If you’re so offended by it, maybe you should just rip it off of me.”

The tips of Levi’s ears turn a delightful shade of pink. You’re sure your own skin is hot enough to cook an egg on.

“Wear it Saturday then,” Levi’s ears may be flushed, but his eyes flash with something that makes your spine tingle. The insinuation of his words has your gut clenching and your mind whispering fervent prayers to please please please make Saturday get here faster, I don’t ask for much, please!

“Only if you wear your modeling outfit,” you manage to say, trying your best to sound coy when you feel like you might combust into a pile of lust and giddiness. “I’ve never seen someone wear it so well, and I want a closer look.”

If possible, Levi’s eyes grow even darker, and you just know Saturday is going to be one of the best damn days of your entire life.

“Deal.”

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Taglist: @clovertitan @millenialfanfictionaddiction @stigandr-the-cat @axoxtxhxh @bowandcurtsey @chaotic-nick @manjiroarchiviste

#meet cute collab #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman imagine #levi x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader

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bqstqnbruin · 4 years ago

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Aerosmith

Alright, y'all: here's that fic that I'm low key scared no one is going to read that has taken me a few months to write, a Trent x single mom!reader fic

It's a long one, with the Bruin's feral little fighty boy from St. Louis, around 13.3k words. The songs listed as the headers of each section are all by Aerosmith, each part partially inspired by the song (hence the name of the fic)

Shoutout to @toplinetommy for helping me with this the entire time and being my beta AND to @chara-hugs for letting me bounce ideas off of you and talking through what I was thinking of. Love you lots 💛

I hope people like this

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Just Push Play

Considering how much was happening around you at the bar your friends had dragged you to, the only thing that could keep your attention was your phone. It was the only thing, at this point, that you would allow to keep your attention. You had no desire to be there. Part of you wanted your phone to start buzzing, anything that would give you an excuse for you to leave, but the other part of you knew that something bad had to happen in order for you to leave. Every second that you stayed was costing you more money and less time being where you wanted to be.

“Hey, Y/N, put the phone away. This is your first night out in, like, years,” Molly tells you.

“Four years. Maybe five?” you guess.

“Six years, exactly,” she wrongly says, earning a disappointed head shake from you, a small ‘no’ escaping your lips that goes ignored as she takes your hand that’s holding the phone. “Can we please just enjoy tonight and have some fun? He’s going to be fine.”

You take in a deep breath, almost sure she was right about that. You hadn’t had a night to yourself in years, and Molly was also almost right that this was your first one in over four years. Actually, given the timeline, it was probably more like five. “But what if something happens?” you ask, the natural worry and constant fear you felt taking over your ability to just enjoy the night.

“If something, anything happens, you’ll be able to feel your phone vibrating in your pocket, and I will go home with you to take care of it,” she reassures you, playing around with the settings on your phone. She hands it back to you, pulling you up from the table you had yet to move from in the first place. “He’s fine. He always is. Why don’t you request a song?”

“Because you keep telling me you hate my music.”

“Well, that’s because you have the same music taste as your sixty-something-year-old father when you’re a twenty-something-year-old woman.”

“You don’t even know how old I am? We’re the same age.” Molly rolls her eyes at you, dragging you up to the line of people to request songs, a book sitting there with the songs you could request. “They’re not going to have anything I like,” you tell her as the line behind you gets longer.

“Don’t you listen to that one guy?” she starts.

“That could mean anything. Have I told you lately that you are the most unhelpful person I know?” you snap at her, trying to find anything in your Spotify that you could request as the line got shorter and shorter in front of you. “What about this song?” you ask, your finger hovering over someone from one of your Daily Mixes. Molly looks over your shoulder at your phone, shaking her head at your song choice, and every song choice that you suggested. “I’m just going back to the table, you’re being impossible.”

Before she can protest, you turn around and head back to your table, sitting off to the side away from the rest of your friends, your eyes glued to your phone. At this point, you were praying that you would get a message from Rachel asking you to come home, telling you that something was wrong. Even something as simple as she had to leave unexpectedly so you could, too. Anything so that you could leave sooner rather than later.

“Sorry, but you really couldn’t find a song in that book?” you hear a guy's voice, tearing you away from the screen. He sits down next to you, not too close that it was uncomfortable but just close enough that you could smell his cologne, covering the smell of beer that had been lingering in the air around you. “There was some Aerosmith in there, I have a feeling that’s the closest to something you’d enjoy,” he says, smiling at you.

He must have been in the group that was in line behind you, hearing your conversation with Molly. Regardless, you smile back at him, something about his own being so infectious that you couldn’t help but mirror his expression. “Well, you’re right, but it depends on what Aerosmith song,” you respond, a hint of flirting in your voice.

“Is there a bad one?”

“No, but there are some superior ones,” you tell him, his eyebrow cocked as a sign to get you to explain. “Sweet Emotion is great but not as good as their cover of Come Together. Dream On and I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing are easily, in my opinion, their best songs.”

“Is that up for debate?”

“Oh, you think their most popular songs aren’t their best?”

“I think the one that’s about to play is one of their best,” the guy says, both of you pausing as there’s a lull in the music, the chatter and screaming of the bar’s drunk patrons overtaking everything.

“Just Push Play?” you ask, a smile on your face. It wasn’t one of their most well-known songs, but you still had to admit it was an underrated one.

The boy shrugs, a smirk on his face. “I might have requested it so you’ll have a reason to dance with me,” he flirts, getting up and extending his hand for you to join him.

You hesitate, unsure if you should get up with this mystery man standing in front of you. There was something about him that you couldn’t figure out. He looked young, probably younger than you but looks can be deceiving, nevertheless telling you that there was some sort of innocence or naivety to him, but the obviously fit physique under his clothing telling you that he could and would break your heart in a moment if he had to, the time leading up to that would be like nothing you had experienced before. You didn’t have time or the energy to spend on something you knew would lead to heartbreak, but you felt like you wanted to, like you had to. “I’m not sure I can dance with someone whose name I don’t even know.”

“I’m Trent,” he says, taking your hand and guiding you away from the table. You introduce yourself as his hands snake their way around your waist, holding you close enough that you could feel his heart starting to race against your own chest as your hands met the skin at the back of his neck, your fingers grazing along the collar of the back of his shirt, the two of you not moving at all in sync with the faster beat of the song. Not that you cared. There was something about this boy you were talking to talk to over the music that made you completely disregard the movement around you, forgetting about your phone and what was waiting for you at home for the first time in nearly five years.

You danced for what felt like forever, for what you wanted to last forever, every song passing you by as he listed out song after song that he recognized, most of them country as he claimed he had a country playlist that went on for seven hours, all of them involving him trying to sing bits and pieces of the lyrics off-key, every time pulling a laugh from you.

“I don’t know what I like more,” he starts, resting his forehead against yours as the space between the two of you disappeared, “the music they’re playing or your laugh.”

You roll your eyes, a smile on your face as the heat rushes to your cheeks. “Those lines usually don’t work on me.”

“But?” he asks, his lips ghosting yours.

“But from you, they do,” you tell him, planting your lips on his before he has the chance to say anything else. You didn’t know what it was about Trent; you were never the one to make the first move, you barely interacted with guys at this point since your life was permanently hectic. But Trent was something else. You don’t know what Trent was, you just knew he was different.

His hands were on your back, finding their way to your waist, his grip tightening when you feel someone tap your shoulder. You pull away, a pout on Trent’s face as you turn around to see Molly, waving your phone in your face. “It’s almost midnight.”

“Oh, shoot!” you squeal, taking your phone. “I’m sorry, I have to get home.”

A confused look covers Trent’s face. “Is your Uber going to turn into a pumpkin if you aren’t home, Cinderella?”

You laugh at his joke, going back to your table to grab your stuff. “I’m so sorry,” you repeat, “But I really have to get home.”

“Let me walk you.”

You stop in your tracks as you were rushing out the door. You never brought a guy anywhere near your apartment, knowing that most of them would want to go in, most of them would want to sleep with you if you invited them, most of them would be gone by morning when they found out why you didn’t want them there in the first place. You don’t know why you knew Trent would be different. “No, you don’t have to,” you tell him, instead, even though you wish you could bring him home with you.

Before he can answer, someone calls out his name, pulling the two of you away from each other’s attention. “Trent, we’re leaving.”

Trent looks between you and his friend, the group of guys aggregating around him as they wait for his answer.

“You don’t have to,” you repeat, trying to get out the door because you had to.

“Jack, give me a minute,” Trent calls to his friends, “I want to,” he tells you, taking your arm, turning you towards him. The look in his eyes was sincere, begging you to let him walk you home. “Please?”

You let out a sigh, caving in even though you knew you shouldn’t. “Fine, yeah. Let’s go,” you tell him, taking his hand and leading him out of the bar, his friends left without an answer as they watched the two of you walk away.

Come Together

“I’ve had a really great night. Sorry about my friends, though” Trent apologizes to you again. He explained that he had gone out with them after their game that night, supposed to be spending their off-day tomorrow together, but Trent leaving with you had seemingly changed those plans. As the two of you walked and talked on the way back, his hand never left yours, from the time you left the bar to now standing outside your door. He pulls you in for another kiss, the worries of what was on the other side of the door melting away. You wanted to invite him in, but you weren’t sure if he would even want to once he found out.

Your door opens, Rachel stepping out. “Sorry, it’s almost curfew.”

“Yeah, sure, go ahead,” you tell her, Trent confused by the girl sneaking out of your apartment. “That was Rachel. She’s my babysitter.”

“Babysitter?”

You could feel your face twisting involuntarily at his question. You knew you should have told him before you got home, it would have been easier leaving him at the bar than watching him walk away from you outside your door. Why did you even let him walk you home in the first place? Because he’s hot and you’re dumb, that’s why. “I have a four-year-old son. If you wanted to leave, I would understand. Most guys do when I tell them about Ben,” you spit out, not making eye contact with him. You weren’t ashamed of your son, you just knew people your age got weirded out and panicked at the thought of the responsibility that came with having a child.

He tilts your head up, his eyes flicking between your own and your lips, a lazy smile on his face. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Do you want to stay?”

“If you’ll have me,” he says, kissing you yet again. You bring him inside, showing him Ben’s room first. The two of you stand in the doorway, his arms wrapped around your waist as you lean against the door frame. You feel him kiss the back of your head as you watch Ben wriggle in his sheets before settling down, you taking Trent’s hand and leading him down to your room. You tell him that you don’t want to do anything because of Ben being so close, Trent giving you a sweet smile, kissing you before settling next to you in bed. You had no idea why, but it all felt so domestic, so right that he was there with you in that moment.

“Can I ask you something?” his voice pierces the silence that had fallen between you.

“Sure.”

“Why didn’t you mention Ben before?”

You swallow hard. You weren’t ashamed of having Ben, something you found yourself repeating in your mind every time you told a guy about your son. He was the best part of your life. Everything you did was for him. “We’re young. Being a single mom at our age has such a stigma around it. When guys find out, they normally bolt. I didn’t want you to until the last possible second.” You turn to him, still able to make out his features in the dark, the pout that was forming on his face visible without anything lighting him up.

“You could have told me before we got here,” he says, pain in his voice as he reaches for your face, the pad of his thumb gently grazing over your cheek. “I don’t care if you have a kid. I mean, I do, Ben is part of who you are. But, I would have understood. I understand. You shouldn’t be afraid of telling someone about that part of you. What I know about you so far is pretty amazing, I can only imagine what Ben brings to the table.”

“That seems weirdly out of character for what I know about you,” you tease him, pulling a smile from him.

“Well, maybe, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day, right?”

You kiss him, a feeling of relief washing over you at his words. The two of you spend the rest of the night telling each other about yourselves, keeping quiet for Ben, despite the amount of laughter you let you. You couldn’t remember the last time a guy made you feel so happy, falling asleep with a smile on your face, his arms wrapped around your waist as if that’s where they belonged.

You wake up the next morning, the sun shining into your room, but no Trent. You get out of bed, probably figuring that he had left in the middle of the night, trying to spare your feelings about you having a son. You understood. What guy really wants to get into a relationship with a single mom at this age?

You go to check on Ben, opening the door to his bedroom to find that he wasn’t in his room. You started to panic at the sight of his empty bed, unmade with his blankets in disarray. If Trent was gone, and Ben was gone, where could they be? He wouldn’t kidnap your son, would he? He was a professional athlete, that’s not something he would do, right? Your panic starts to recede when you hear laughter coming from the kitchen.

Trent is standing at the stove, spatula in hand with eggs cooking on the stove, a piece of bread held up to his face with holes bitten out of it where his eyes are, making Ben shriek with laughter. “Sorry. I heard him get up and I didn’t want to wake you, so I started making breakfast. Is that ok?”

You can’t help but smile, going over to Ben. “How’s he doing so far?”

“Mommy, look! French toast!” Ben says, pointing excitedly to the cut-up pieces of bread on his plate.

“French toast?” you repeat, your eyes wide to play along with his excitement. “Give me a bite,” you tell him, opening your mouth as he picks up a piece with his fingers, nearly missing your mouth. You hear Trent laugh, you not containing your own.

You go over to Trent, leaning into him as the two of you watch Ben eat the food Trent made. You feel him kiss the top of your head, his fingers dancing up and down along your arm. You look at his hand, a bandaid on the back of his hand. “What happened to you here?”

“Oh, oops,” he says, looking at his hand. “Got a little cut, but don’t worry, it’s not bad. Dr. Ben here fixed me right up,” he tells you, going over to Ben and ruffling his hair.

Trent hands you a plate of french toast and eggs, pouring you a cup of coffee, kissing you in front of Ben, who either didn’t notice or didn’t mind. No guy had ever stayed the night, let alone stayed and made breakfast for the two of you the next morning.

“So, what were you two talking about before I joined?” you ask, taking another bite of the French Toast. You already knew it was good from what Ben gave you, but you were still devouring it.

“Bears, boots, and battles of galaxias,” Ben lets out, his full mouth spraying crumbs everywhere.

“I’ve been trying to make sense of that all morning. I have no idea what he means. Why does that sound familiar?” Trent asks, sitting down next to you, his hand on your thigh under the table, sending a chill through your entire body as his fingers lazily traced an unknown pattern on your skin.

You take a sip of the coffee he had handed you, setting down your cup and putting your hand on top of his under the table. “He saw that one part of the Office, the identity theft cold opening, where Jim says, ‘Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica?’ That’s how he remembered it,” you explain, Trent looking over to your son who was fixated on the food in front of him.

“Benny,” Trent calls him, your entire body going numb hearing him call him the same nickname you used for your son, “do you like bears?”

“Bears are the coolest!” he squeals. Everything he saw with a bear on it, he would start begging you to buy him, your heart breaking from the look on his face when you had to tell him no, we don’t need the kitchen towel just because it has a bear on it.

“Can you do your best bear impression for Mom and I?” You felt your heart skip at the sound of Trent calling referring to you as just ‘Mom’ instead of ‘your mom,’ like he was already part of the family. You didn’t even hear Ben growling, his best attempt at being the ‘scary’ Baby Bear that he was just laughing along with Trent.

“Hey, buddy, what if I called you Benny Bear from now on? Do you like that?” Trent asks, Ben nodding excitedly at his nickname.

“You’re nice,” Ben says to Trent while he clears his plate, Ben running off to go play.

You look at Trent, not able to help how you were beaming at him getting along so well with your son. It was like he belonged there with you, and with Ben, making his presence that much better. “That means he likes you.”

“Not trying to pry,” Trent starts, standing beside you at the sink while you wash the dishes, “But how often does he like the guys you bring home?”

You bite your bottom lip, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks. “I almost never bring guys home. And when I do, he generally doesn’t talk to them.”

“So he likes me,” he starts, getting closer to you as you nod your head. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you away from the sink. “How about you?”

“That depends,” you flirt, stretching to turn the sink off before draping your arm on his shoulders, twirling his hair through your fingers at the nape of his neck, “do you like me?”

He lets out a small laugh, pulling you in for a kiss. “I do.”

“I like you, too. Help me finish cleaning up and then we’ll go watch Ben, ok?”

The two of you wash dishes in silence, weirdly domestic and comfortable considering you knew this boy all of twelve hours. “Can I ask you something?” Trent breaks the silence, just as he did the night before.

“Sure.”

“Where’s Ben’s dad?” You take in a deep breath, knowing that this would have come up eventually. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he continues, a wash of panic over his face at the thought of asking something too personal too soon.

You shake your head, smiling at him to try to calm him down. “No, no, that’s fine. Um, we were together when we were in college, but we broke up. I started feeling like shit so I went to the doctor and she told me, ‘Congrats! You’re two months pregnant!’”

“Does he know about Ben?” Trent asks quietly.

“Yeah. Yeah, he does. I told him when I found out because I knew Ben was his. I told him that I was going to keep the baby and since we weren’t together anymore, he had the choice of either being present and helping out or if he didn’t want the responsibility, then that was fine, too.”

He didn’t know what about the way you were talking was making him feel this way. A lump in his throat was forming looking at your eyes start to shine with the threat of tears while you refused to make eye contact with him. You rarely talked about Ben’s father, making the decision a long time ago that he wasn’t worth your time thinking about since he didn’t want much to do with his own son. “And he didn’t?”

“He sends a present to Ben on his birthdays and Christmas, but other than that nothing really. I’m not even sure if Ben’s made the connection between the presents and his father yet. Like I said, though, I gave him the choice.”

“Do you regret anything?”

“I could never regret Ben or anything with him. I almost regret giving his father the choice, though. Being a parent isn’t easy, even if you have someone to take up half the work, but it’s even harder when it’s just you by yourself, you know? And I’ve gotten help, but it would be different if Ben had his dad as a constant in his life. Ben’s only seen him a few times, anyway. He calls him Andy instead of dad, and it’s just,” you stop, trying to find the word, “heartbreaking seems too severe, seeing him not acknowledge his dad as his dad, but what can you do?”

Trent didn’t know what to say. He was practically still a child himself when you really look at him. He couldn’t imagine having his own at this point in his life, let alone raising one on his own. “I’m sorry,” is all he can get out, trying not to cry even though he could hear Ben’s laughter ringing from the other room, sending a weird sense of joy through him at the same time.

“No, it’s fine. I would rather do this alone than do this with someone who didn’t want Ben to begin with. You can’t be a parent if you aren’t all in.”

He had no idea why, but he already felt so connected to Ben. There was no reason why, but he did. “I’m in.”

You turn back to him, shocked, confused, not even sure if you heard what he said properly. “What?”

“I’m in with you. With Ben. If you’ll let me. I want to see you again, keep seeing you. And that includes Ben. He already likes me, after all.” Trent was used to making snap decisions, on the ice, off the ice, wherever. He knew this was one, but this one felt like his best one.

“You don’t have to, you have your own life with hockey and everything,” you try to insist, cut off by Trent’s lips connecting with yours.

“I want to. Let’s go play with Ben.”

Angel

“Are you sure this is safe?” you ask him for what was probably the millionth time, getting out of his car in front of the rink.

He runs around to get Ben out of his car seat, you grabbing the stuff he had stashed in the trunk. “Yes, I promise it is. The guys bring their kids all the time and they’re way younger than Ben.” He had invited you and Ben to the family skate the team was having, you reluctant to go since Ben had never been skating before. Naturally, you were worried he would get hurt, either by falling down or being curious about the skate and somehow cutting himself, something you were sure he would do if given the chance.

You two had been together for about a month, Ben falling head over heels for Trent, jumping up and down whenever he saw him on TV. Much to your dismay, Ben loved it when Trent was fighting, begging you to let him play hockey so he could fight just like Trent. You loved taking videos of his excitement despite that fear of him skating and fighting like Trent, sending them to him to see during the game, Trent always making sure to FaceTime you the next afternoon when you got home from work if you two couldn’t meet up so that he could talk to Ben. He was acting like the dad Ben never had.

And that was terrifying to you. The thought of you and Trent breaking up and him suddenly leaving Ben’s life was the reason why you never got close with a guy before. You didn’t want Ben to go through that. You didn’t want to go through that.

But there you were, sitting rinkside at the Garden as you tried to tie up the skates that Trent got for Ben, his feet swinging back and forth in excitement no matter how much you tried to get him to stop for a moment.

“Are you excited, Benny Bear?” Trent asks, picking him up and walking out to the ice.

“Yeah!” he says, squirming around and clearly ready to go.

You weren’t sure if you were more nervous about Ben being on the ice for the first time, Trent already showing him how to skate, or you formally meeting all his teammates for the first time, that night at the bar not really counting. The three of you step onto the ice, Ben in between you two, practically swinging in the air as you both held his hands while you skate.

“You’re nervous?” Trent asks, reading the expression on your face.

“They look like they didn’t know about Ben.” You saw the looks you were getting from the guys' families as you and Trent were skating around with Ben between you. You knew they were looks of confusion, but you couldn't help but think that they were the same looks when you went out with Ben in general, the societal disapproval of being a young mother, no ring on that finger to show that this was planned with another parent on the other side. People were judgemental; it was in their nature, but you were hoping Trent’s teammates were accepting like Trent had been.

“Um, I guess I didn’t tell them? I didn’t think I needed to,” he says, looking down at your son. Ben was beaming, not paying attention to what you two were talking about, not that he would probably understand it if he was. Trent didn’t think it would be a big deal to have your son around. The guys knew he was seeing you, but was it really that big a deal that you have Ben? He looks over at you, the scared look that was on your face worrying him. “We can just tell him he’s your nephew or your little brother?” he whispers so Ben doesn’t hear.

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. You don’t seem to want them to know he’s your son?”

You stop skating, pulling Trent over to the side while holding onto Ben’s hand as he begs to pull away and take a lap on his own, something you weren’t going to let him do. “I told you I’m not ashamed of Ben,” you hiss at him.

“I’m not saying that you are. I’m just saying if you’re scared of what people would think we could just tell them something else.”

You look at him for a moment, trying to properly process his words. “Am I scared of what people think, or are you?”

He steps back, careful not to fall on whoever's kid was zooming past him at that moment, Ben begging to go skate with him. “Hey, Zach,” he calls Patrice’s son over. “If he takes Ben is that ok?”

You knew you shouldn’t say yes, but you didn’t need Ben hearing this conversation, no matter how oblivious he might have been to begin with. “If you trust him, fine.”

“Zach,” Trent starts, crouching down to their level, his hands on Ben’s shoulders so he can’t skate away before he’s done, “Can you take care of my guy Ben here? Make sure he doesn’t fall? Go skate to your dad.” Zach and Ben practically rush off with each other to Zach’s dad, eager to skate around and surprisingly good for their age. “What do you mean I’m scared?”

“Who’s the one suggesting that we don’t tell your teammates that Ben is my son? We’ve been out together when people ask if he’s my brother, my nephew, if I’m his nanny, and every single time you’ve seen me correct them. I told you I’m not ashamed of Ben. And to come here and have everyone giving us looks because they’re trying to figure out who he is to you makes it seem like you are. You couldn’t even tell the guys you claim are like your family about Ben. He’s not old enough for that hurt, but I am.”

He looks down at the ice, shuffling back and forth on his skates. “I’m sorry.”

You move closer to him, tempted to reach out and hold him. He looked just as hurt as you felt, part of you glad that he was actually showing he was sympathetic instead of just saying it. “Are you ashamed of Ben?”

His head snaps to you, a look of disbelief on his face. He starts shaking his head, the curls on his head that were loose enough going wild with his movement. “I’m crazy about that kid. I know why you aren’t ashamed of him because I don’t think I could ever be.” Trent turns around to find Ben on the ice, skating around with the other kids, some of the guys playing a small game with them, Ben with his own little stick. He watches Ben score on whoever was playing goalie, Ben shrieking with joy. Trent couldn’t help but smile, turning to you. “He means more to me than I thought someone else's child could.”

“Then why didn’t you tell them about Ben?” you ask him.

He shrugs, sticking out his bottom lip. “Because I’m dumb.”

You can’t help but laugh, hooking your fingers in his belt loops to pull him close to you. “Well, I do call you a stupid muppet,” you joke, earning a groan from him, “Hey, I say it with affection and you did say I could call you that.”

He cups your face and kisses you, momentarily forgetting his teammates and their families around you. “We could go tell them now?” he suggests, his forehead pressed against yours.

“Do you want to?”

Trent starts skating over to the rest of the guys, Ben giggling and playing with the rest of the kids. The two of you start talking to his teammates, introducing yourself to Jack and Jeremy, keeping your eye on Ben while he plays as you wait for Trent to finally say something about him.

“Trent! Trent!” Ben’s voice tears you two away from the conversation. “I’m you!” he yells, using the stick to try to shoot the puck, instead missing the puck and falling down on the ice. He was trying to process what just happened, hopefully not meaning to do what he did.

You look at Trent’s face, his teammates laughing while his face turned red. Ben shoots back up and starts skating again, Trent beaming at him. “That was cold,” he says to you, a smile on his face anyway.

“You know he didn’t mean it,” you tell him, squeezing his bicep before skating over to your son. You lift him up off the ice, thankful that he was still small enough to do that as you kiss his cheek and skate around with just him for a bit.

Trent couldn’t take his eyes off you, his teammates doing everything they could to try to peel his attention away from you. He watched you interact with Ben, the same light in your eyes when he looked at your son.

“Dude?” Jack finally succeeds in bringing Trent back down to Earth, “is that her brother?”

Trent shakes his head, turning back to you. “Nope, that’s her son.”

“Son? What are you thinking?” Jack asked. He knew what he meant. Trent was young. You were young. Having a kid was something real adults did, not whatever definition of adult he fell under.

Trent shrugs, watching you and Ben laugh and smile as you skated around, talking with some of the guys' girlfriends as they coo over Ben. “I’ve been better since I started seeing her.”

“You were fine before you started seeing her,” one of them mumbles.

He rolls his eyes, turning back to them. “Come on. I was fine but I wasn’t great. All I did was punch a few guys and get a couple of secondary assists. Even Butch said something about my play last game. Everything in my life is better with Y/N in it. And Ben.”

He didn’t hear what the guys were saying, and honestly, he didn’t care either. He loved your son, probably not as much as you did, but he felt like he was getting there. He wanted to get there.

Because he loved you.

Dream On

“Where are you?” Molly's voice comes through your phone, panicked and irritated. “I thought you were coming in today?”

“What are you talking about? Today’s my day off.” You were at home, sitting on the couch with the tv playing in the background while Ben played with his toys in front of you. It was one of the rare days that you could spend from the time you woke up until you went to sleep with your son, and you had no real intention of changing those plans, which is what it sounded like Molly was going to ask you to do.

“Well, you know that funding we secured for that new project?”

“Yeah?” you say, Ben coming up to you, trying to show you something. “Hold on, Benny. What’s going on, Mol?”

“They’re getting cold feet.”

“You’re joking.”

“No, we need you here. You and DeAndre were the ones who got them in the first place, and he’s already here. Please?”

You take in a deep breath, trying to figure out if anyone is free to watch Ben. You couldn’t bring him in and have him running around the office while you were trying to convince a major investor to give you the money promised. “I have to find a babysitter but I’ll be there as soon as I can,” you sigh, wracking your brain as to who would be free. Rachel couldn’t typically do weekends, but maybe she could if you promised to pay her extra? But then there was the issue of: did you have the money to pay her extra?

You start scrolling through your contacts, trying to figure out if anyone in there would be able to watch your son, running into your room to get changed to look at least a little presentable.

Trent’s name pops up, calling you with what you hoped would be somewhat perfect timing. “Hey, babe, what’s up?” you answer, your phone on your bed as you try to find something to wear.

“What am I looking at?”

“I’m changing for work and my phone is on my bed, so the ceiling.”

“I thought it was your day off?” he asks as you throw what seemed to be the only clean work shirt that you could find. You knew you were forgetting to do something today, now you realized it was laundry.

“Molly called saying that I need to go in and now I have to find someone to watch Ben or else I’m going to have to bring him in with me, which doesn’t seem like a good idea. And most of my friends are from work or have their own lives and can’t watch him, Rachel can’t do weekends, but I guess I could ask her if she has any friends who could watch him last minute.”

“Y/N.”

“But then I have to pay them and since it’s so last minute I would need to give them more money, right?”

“Y/N.”

“I guess I could, but I think I would also have to pay for meals, and then I have no idea what time I’m going to get home, and whenever that is I’m going to have to do laundry, and-”

“Hey. Earth to Y/N. I can watch him,” Trent finally cuts you off long enough to get a word in.

You were hesitant; Trent had never been left alone with Ben, and probably never left alone with a four-year-old ever by your assumptions. “No, no, I can’t ask you to do that,” you tell him, picking up your phone to see him.

“I’m serious! You just said you need a babysitter, I was going to ask if I could come over and see you before the road trip, anyway.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, biting your lip. Did you trust Trent enough to let him watch and take care of Ben? If you could trust Rachel, a girl who still had a curfew and couldn’t even drive her friends in the same car as her, why couldn’t you trust your boyfriend?

“Of course!” he says, clearly getting up and walking around what you think was his apartment. “I’m leaving right now, I’ll be there in ten.”

He hangs up and leaves you to finish getting ready, hurrying through trying to make yourself look presentable and finding the stuff that you needed. You couldn’t find your work bag, or your computer, mentally cursing yourself for the one time you didn’t leave it in your closet like you normally did.

“Hey, Benny? Have you seen Mommy’s computer and bag?” you go into your living room to where you left Ben. He shakes his head, his overall attention not leaving whichever toy he was fixated on. “Great,” you mutter under your breath, trying to find it. “Ben, how about you and I play a game?” you ask him, getting down in front of him. “If you can help me find my blue bag and my computer, someone really special will come over tonight!”

Ben gets up and starts looking for you, hoping that you can find it before Trent actually gets to your place. “Mommy! I found it!” Ben comes running to you, your bag nearly as big as him as he struggles to carry it to you.

You take it from him, kissing his head as he goes running off, a knock at your door just in time. Opening it, you see Trent on the other side, a bag in his hand. Kissing him hello, you tell him, “I owe you big time.”

“We can discuss payment when you get home. And I have some ideas as to how you could pay me,” he says, bringing you in for a kiss.

“Trent!” Ben runs over, interrupting.

Trent practically launches himself off you, picking up Ben and hugging him while your son’s laughter and happiness fill your home. “Benny Bear!” He gives Ben the bag, telling him to open it.

“A bear!” Ben jumps up and down with the small stuffed animal that Trent had gotten him.

“What does a bear say?” Trent asks, both of them going, “grrrrr,” with their hands curled like claws, their faces scrunched. You felt yourself melting at the sight of Trent getting along so well with Ben, your son running around in circles with his new toy that he would probably say is his favorite since it came from Trent.

“Did you buy him a Benny Bear?” you gush, bringing him in for a hug.

“I saw it when I was on the road and had to get it for the little guy.”

“You love him,” you tell him, not needing to ask since you already knew what his answer would be if you did.

“Of course. But you have to get to work,” he tells you, pushing you off him.

“I’ll pay you for whatever you get for dinner, order what you want, within reason for him.”

“You don’t have to pay me back, and I’ll make sure to get him lots of candy,” he jokes, earning a look from you. “I’m joking,” he says, throwing his hands up in defense. “Go, go to work. I’ve got this.”

“If you need anything call me, or even one of the guys who have kids. If you trust them, I’ll trust them.” You kiss him again, yell goodbye to your son and remind him to behave for Trent. You were nervous about leaving Ben alone with him, but if you wanted to be serious about this guy, you had to do it at some point, right?

You close the door, leaving Ben and Trent alone on the other side as you try to think about how you and DeAndre can now keep your investors from pulling money, practically running down the hall so that you can get to your car.

Trent turns around, Ben already sitting back down on the floor and playing away with his toys. He had no idea how to watch a four-year-old. He takes in a deep breath, sitting on the ground with Ben, his back leaning up against your couch. “Alright, Benny, what do you want to do?”

Ben hands Trent a toy, starting to ramble on about whatever magical world he’s conjured up that Trent was no part of. He had no idea what he was doing, trying to follow along with your son’s imagination as best as he could.

Trent didn’t know how you did it. Ben was a ball of energy all the time, and at home seemed to be no exception. Trent was chasing him around as they played ‘Bear catcher,’ which Trent wasn’t really sure the rules of in the first place, just following around your four-year-old through your apartment while he sprinted, jumped, hid, crawled, and did every other action that Trent felt too old for.

Ben finally sits down and focuses on the tv when he hears some song coming from it, the first moments that Trent can sit down as well, hoisting himself onto the cushions. His phone starts buzzing, a call from Jack coming in. “Hey, what’s up?”

“What are you doing right now?” Jack’s voice comes through the phone as Ben gets up again, starting to run around with the bear Trent bought him.

“I’m watching Ben.”

“Since when are you a babysitter?” Jack asks, judgment dripping in his voice.

“Since Y/N needed a babysitter and I was free.” Ben climbs up on the couch and starts jumping, Trent suddenly feeling a wash of panic over him at the thought of Ben falling and getting hurt. Jack starts saying something that Trent knew he didn’t want to hear anyway, giving him the perfect excuse to cut him off. “Hey, Ben, you’ve gotta be careful. Sorry, dude, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.”

He hangs up before Jack can get another word in. “Hey, Benny. Mom said we could order dinner,” he says, pulling Ben into his lap in hopes that he would calm down long enough so he could talk to him. Ben squirms as his energy never seems to stop, Trent doing everything he can to try to figure this out. “What sounds good to you?”

“Ice cream!”

Trent lets out a small laugh, Ben’s face glowing at the thought of ice cream for dinner. “No, bud, you can’t have ice cream for dinner.”

“Ice cream! Ice cream!” Ben wriggles free of Trent’s grasp, repeating the phrase over and over again as he sets off running around again.

Trent was way in over his head. He didn’t think that Ben would have this much energy for this long. Whenever he was with you, it was either during the day and Ben stayed relatively calm, or when you were playing, he had you to help counteract and keep Ben from being the seemingly crazy child that he was right now. He could call you and ask what to do, but from how you sounded on the phone and when he came over, you were way too stressed out to also have to worry about Ben at that moment. He could call one of his teammates who actually knew what they were doing when it came to child care, but Jack’s words from the family skate practically haunted him. He wasn’t in too over his head when he was with you, or when he was with you and Ben. But just Ben? Not going too well.

“Benny Bear, come here,” Trent says, reaching out to catch Ben as he runs by the couch. “How about, we get something else to eat, and if you eat all of it, I’ll get you ice cream?” he asks, making a mental note to at least text you to ask if it was ok that he have it. Ben nods his head since Trent technically said he could have ice cream. “What do you want?”

“Mac and cheese!”

“What about,” he starts, pulling out his phone. “Some chicken fingers?” Something told him cheese and ice cream wasn’t going to end well for Ben’s stomach that night, and by default, it wasn’t going to end well for Trent, either.

Ben nods, going back off and running around the room. He had to tire out at some point, right?

“Hello?” you answer your phone, Trent calling you to make sure his dinner plans were ok.

“Hey, Ben said he wanted ice cream, but I told him only if he eats his dinner, and I had to make sure it was alright with you, first.”

“What did you settle on?”

“Chicken fingers?”

He hears someone calling your name in the background, you yelling something back to them in panic. “Yeah, there might be some in the freezer? If not, just tell him that the ice cream fairy is coming later and he can have it tomorrow, or something. There are also some carrots in the fridge, too. Tell him he has to eat some of those if he wants ice cream, even if I don’t have any. Have some with him, pretend they’re spaceships, and play with them before you eat them, that normally distracts him long enough.”

“That works?”

“Trent, he’s four. Most things like that do.” He hears more yelling from your end, Ben coming zooming by him yet again, nearly tripping over Trent’s feet. “I’ve gotta run. Love you, bye.”

You hang up before Trent can react. You hadn’t told each other that you loved the other yet. He knew he loved you, but he didn’t know if you loved him back. But you just said it, and he didn’t even know if you meant it since you said it in such a hurried context. He hoped you meant it. He can’t even focus while he’s ordering dinner, not really sure what he was having other than the carrots you mentioned were in the fridge.

Trent just sits there while he waits for the food to arrive, getting the carrots out and trying to see if there was anything close to ice cream, or even yogurt that he could throw in the freezer for Ben while he continues to zoom around your apartment. “Hey, Benny, look!” he says, holding up the carrots. “Spaceships!”

This felt like he was talking to a dog, which seemed weird, but at this rate, Ben was tiring him out so fast he didn’t know what to do. He and Ben start playing with the carrots, watching your son eat what was in front of him when the doorbell rang for food.

Ben keeps playing with food, something Trent thought you probably wouldn’t like too much, but at this point, he didn’t know if he should care. He had no idea how you did this. There was no way Ben had this much energy every night, right? He had never seen you exhausted, so Ben couldn’t be a ball of energy all the time. At least, that’s what he convinced himself as he sat there eating his food.

Eventually, Ben goes to sleep, Trent helping get him ready for bed and tucking him in. You had texted that you weren’t sure when you were going to be home, but Trent was free to stay the night instead of driving back home regardless of what time you would be back, something he gladly took you up on.

Trent finally settles down after finding a pair of sweats he left at your place a while ago, collapsing onto the couch in complete exhaustion from Ben’s running.

“Trent?” he hears Ben’s small voice coming from down the hall, pulling Trent away from the trance he fell in trying to stay awake until you got home. “Trent!”

He runs down the hall at the sound of the increased panic in your son’s voice, not sure what he was supposed to expect when he practically burst through his bedroom door. “Buddy, what’s wrong?”

Ben was breathing heavily when Trent got close to his bed, clutching his sheets to his chest, “I had a bad dream.”

Trent sits down on Ben’s bed, a sad smile on his face. “Ah, Benny, it’s all over now. You’re safe.” Ben nods his head, a terrified look still on his face. He pulls Ben in for a hug, kissing the top of his head, Ben’s small arms wrapping around Trent’s own. “How about I read you a story to help you fall asleep?”

Ben nods, jumping out of bed and getting a book for Trent. “Goodnight Lab?” Trent reads, a confused look on his face.

“Mommy likes science,” Ben offers as his explanation.

“Of course she does,” he says, opening the book, putting his arm around your son as Ben cuddles up against Trent’s chest. “In the great green lab, there was a laser, and a lab notebook, and a picture of Einstein with a stern look,” he starts, already seeing Ben’s eyes getting heavy.

You finally get back home, seeing the light on, no one in the living room. Wandering through your apartment, you hear Trent’s voice coming from Ben’s room, finding him there with your son, him asleep against Trent’s chest as he whispers the end of the book to him, “Goodnight liquid nitrogen, goodnight compressed air, goodnight scientists everywhere.”

You stand in the doorway, Trent not noticing you as he slips himself from Ben, your son curling up with his blankets. Trent bends down to kiss him on the head, tiptoeing out of the room.

“Hi,” you whisper, closing Ben’s door behind you, giving Trent a kiss hello. “What was that?”

“He had a nightmare, so I read him a story to calm him down and get him back to sleep,” he explains.

“That’s so sweet of you,” you tell him, leading him down the hall to your room.

He shrugs, closing the door behind you. “My mom used to do it for me and my siblings. I always told myself that I would do it for my son or daughter.” You don’t know what to say, just pulling him in for a kiss, down on your bed. He pulls away, a smile on his face, “Oh, and I love you too,” he tells you, hoping that Ben didn’t wake up and hear what you two were about to do next.

Sweet Emotion

“Happy birthday, Benny!” Trent says, taking a video of your son as he blew out the candle on the small cupcake in front of him. Your son’s fifth birthday was spent out with Trent, starting with him making breakfast again, taking the two of you to the park and Boston Commons as he played with Ben the entire time, out to dinner where you were now, treating you the entire way. Ben didn't even care about the gift that you had gotten from Andy, something he had previously looked forward to every year. Ben was starting to see Trent as a father figure, something that was both terrifying and exciting to you.

If Trent, for whatever reason, stopped wanting to be part of your life, that would mean he would also probably leave Ben’s, a boy who already didn’t know his father and didn’t seem to want to know him. But he wanted to know Trent, he loved Trent, and you knew Trent loved him, too. You were just afraid he would fall out of love.

Ben was giggling as Trent smashed part of the cupcake against his nose, the bright red frosting making him look like Rudolph as he tried, and failed, to lick it off himself.

“Did you get that part, too?” you ask Trent, leaning over to see his screen.

“Yeah, I’ll send it to you. Do you mind if I post it to my private story? Some of the guys and their wives would go crazy for this.”

“Only the private one,” you tell him, laughing as you turn to Ben to see his face more of a mess than before, the red frosting now spread to his cheeks, “Benny, what happened?”

“I’m painting,” he says, using his finger to smear the frosting on his face.

Trent can’t help but laugh, you pulling Ben in for a hug. Trent snaps a picture of you kissing the frosting off his face. “Wait a sec,” he says, calling over a waiter to take a picture of the three of you, both of you kissing Ben’s cheek as he beams at the camera.

You see him set his phone down, notifications lighting the screen up as you guys get ready to leave, the picture of the three of you his new phone background.

The next morning, Trent had morning skate before needing to get ready for their game that night. The last game before the All-Star Weekend marking the halfway point of the season was always both nerve-wracking and exciting, the hypothetical of ‘if the season ended today, would you be in or out of the playoffs?’ always on everyone’s mind even though it meant virtually nothing, but still wanting to stay at one of the top spots in the league regardless.

“Hey, what was with that story yesterday?” Jack asks him after practice.

“It was Ben’s birthday,” he shrugs.

“Isn’t it weird?” Zach asks. “She has a kid. She’s a mom. You aren’t a dad.”

“I never said I was his dad,” he defends himself, starting to take on a hostile tone.

“Well, you’re acting like his dad, aren’t you?”

Trent rolls his eyes as his only response. What was he supposed to do? Ignore that you have a child? Trent gets up to leave, Jack now standing in front of him to stop him.

“You’re with them all the time. You watch him when Y/N is busy. You brought them to family skate. You know his favorite toys, his favorite tv shows, you facetime them every night before the game because he’s going to be asleep by the time the game is over. You’re not his dad,” Jack lists to Trent, Trent getting more angry with every word that comes from his friend.

“What am I supposed to do? Pretend that Ben isn’t part of her life? Pretend that she has no kid? I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that.”

“It’s messing with you, Trent!” Jack yells, the rest of the remaining guys getting quiet. “You don’t do this. You don’t date a girl who has a child and play ‘house’ with her. You’re the guy who just fucks around and has fun. Where did he go?”

“I can’t change? I can’t settle down because I wasn’t settled before?” Trent responds, knowing that his face was bright red, “I love Y/N, and I love Ben. I don’t care if you think it’s ‘not normal.’ It’s what I want and you don’t really get a say in that.” Jack stands there, stunned by his friends' words, still struggling to find them as Trent grabs his bag and walks out of the room to go home before the game.

He wanted to call you and talk about it with you, but what was he going to say? ‘The guys think my dating you is weird since you have a son?’ The flash of your expression appeared in his mind when you realized the guys didn’t know about Ben at family skate, the pain he knew you felt when you thought he was ashamed of Ben. He wasn’t then and he isn’t now.

But what was he doing? Jack was right: he wasn’t Ben’s dad. He could never really be Ben’s dad. Why did your son mean so much to him if he had no relation to the child in the first place?

Why did he have to say he was all in? He was supposed to be focusing on himself and his hockey, not a girl he met at a bar and pouring all his excess energy into you and your son. What was he supposed to do? Pull back? Pull you away from your son? There was no way that was going to be an option, and there was no way that was an option he wanted to follow.

He was supposed to be following his normal pre-game traditions and routines, not having his mind run rampant over the thought of you and Ben and what his teammates think.

He pulls out his phone, a notification from Instagram telling him that you had responded to his story a few hours ago while he was at practice. Trent opens it, seeing the picture of Ben, looking so happy with the cupcake that was all his, the red frosting seconds from being smeared all over his face. Trent didn’t think about being a dad anytime soon. He really never had any intention of settling down, at least not yet, not seriously, yet there he was, thinking of Ben like his own son, head over heels for you and your son.

It was too much, wasn’t it?

His phone started buzzing with texts from the guys to make sure that he was ok after they watched his and Jack’s blow up in the locker room. Trent didn’t even care about them at this point, knowing that he should at least answer them even just to tell them to leave him alone for the time being.

But what if they were right? Jack’s words kept ringing through his head, that he was just a guy who had fun because that’s what he wanted, not a guy who settled down with a girlfriend, and especially not a guy who settled down with a girl who had a toddler.

He spent the entire time he was supposed to be taking a nap going back and forth between whether or not he was in too deep or if he was fine because he was in love. The night he met you, he had never intended to get this far in with you. He had just wanted to hook up, the reason he went home with you in the first place. But as soon as you told him about Ben, seeing the crushed look on your face at the prospect of him leaving because of your son, he knew that he couldn’t just be one and done. There was something about you and Ben that he had to be part of it once he was introduced, that part of his life that he never knew was missing until he realized he couldn’t picture his life without you.

And it was just too much.

Attitude Adjustment

Trent finally gets to the Garden, not even remembering who they were playing that night. He couldn’t think about anyone else, almost tempted to tell Bruce that he was sick so he could be a late scratch instead of letting this mess with him. Because no matter what he did, he couldn’t get out of his head and focus. The music that he normally played before a game wasn’t working, even so much as trying to close his eyes and picture being on the ice while he was in the locker room before the game.

No one approached him while he was in his stall, probably out of fear of another outburst from him. He wasn’t even paying attention when Bergeron gave his traditional pre-game motivational speech before they all went out to the ice, Trent skating around by himself in hopes of being able to focus before they played the Flames that night.

“Alright, what’s going on?” he hears someone say, not even noticing who came up to him in the first place.

He looks at Brad, suddenly thankful that there was someone on the team who knew what he was going through. “Katrina already had Sloane when you two met, right?”

“Y/N and Ben on your mind?”

“You were in the locker room after practice.”

The two of them skate around their half of the ice, the time before the game ticking down. “When you date a woman, when any two people date, there’s always going to be something that can get in the way and potentially break you up. That includes their family, their kids if they have them. You need to decide if you want to let Ben break you and Y/N up or if you’re going to take him in and not let him do that.”

The guys were migrating back to the bench, Brad still on the ice for the starting lineup. “It worked for you, though,” Trent says, hanging back as long as he could, his eyes darting back and forth between the clock and his teammate.

Brad shrugs, looking out to the blue line where Bergeron and Pastrnak were already waiting. “I don’t see Sloane as any less of my son than I see Sawyer as my daughter. It worked for me. If you want it to work for you, then you have to make it work.”

The buzzer sounds, Bruce yelling for Trent to get off the ice and onto the bench. Did he want this to work with you and Ben? What the three of you had was already great, but Trent had barely spent any time with you, a time when you and he could just be a couple without worry of anyone else.

Trent’s line goes out on the ice, his mind still occupied as he skates. The puck touches his stick, him making a mad dash towards the Flames net, only to get tangled up with Tkachuk, sending Trent to the ice. He doesn’t get up for a minute, trying to process what happened, an easy shot and probably goal just messed up, leading to a breakaway to the other end to put the Flames up 1-0 against the Bruins.

By the time he can finally get himself up, Bruce is yelling at him that if he messes up like that again then he’s benched the rest of the game, definitely not a good look going into the All-Star break. He gets back out on the ice, the same thing happening with him tripping on a breakaway, this time over himself instead of a Flame, again leading to them scoring and putting them up 2-0. He couldn’t get out of his head. Trent sat there the entire time, not even focusing on the game, not focusing on the comeback his own team had to win the game 4-3.

He didn’t talk to anyone in the locker room, rushing out as soon as he could to go home, hearing Brad’s voice carry through the hallway to the elevators as he explained what he knew about the situation, no doubt that Jack offered his own remarks that Trent was sure would have lead to them fighting right there.

He had never wanted to fight one of his teammates over shit they said before, let alone one of his best friends. Other guys on other teams? Sure. But Jack?

Trent gets into his car, his phone already blowing up, asking him if he had still wanted to come on the trip to Puerto Rico he and the guys had planned with their girlfriends a while back. He had completely forgotten about the trip, no one even mentioning it for the longest time, not even sure that it was actually booked by anyone.

What surprised him most was Jack asking in the group if you were going to come with them, followed by a separate text saying that he meant it, that he wanted you to come.

Maybe this is what you and Trent needed; a trip with the guys, the two of you able to spend some time alone and just be with each other without the constant worry of someone or something else. He texted back that he would be there, not sure about you yet.

“Hello?” you answer your phone, Ben’s coming through the background. Hearing him made Trent hesitate, swallowing hard.”Trent?”

“Yeah, uh,” he swallows again, “Sorry, um, mind if I stop by for a few minutes?”

You sit up from the couch, looking at the mess you didn’t even realize Ben had created during the game. “Yeah, sure. I’ll see you soon?” you say, hearing him start up his car.

“Yeah, awesome,” he says, hanging up before either of you could say anything else, practically speeding out of the Garden as fast as he could to get to you. The more he thought about it, the more excited he was about spending a week with you.

“Hey, Benny, guess who’s coming over soon?” you put on a cheery voice, crouching down to the floor where Ben was playing with his toys.

Your toddler started bouncing up and down, his arms waving around in excitement. “Trent?” he squeals.

“He should be here any minute, help me pick up some of your toys, ok?”

You and Ben start to scramble to pick everything up. You knew Trent wouldn’t normally care if there were toys on the ground, but there was something about the tone of his voice when he called to tell you that he was stopping by that worried you.

You had watched the game, you weren’t stupid that he had had an awful game, thankful that it was an earlier evening game that Ben could watch with you. Even he was upset when Trent fell, both times, getting benched and hearing Jack and Brick speculate what was up with one of their favorite players.

Ben continued to buzz around as you waited, thankful that he couldn’t sense the anxiety that was building up while waiting for Trent. You hear him knocking on the door, getting up while Ben seems to be oblivious to the sound. You smile when you see him, mirroring his own expression, the complete opposite of what you expected given the conversation you had minutes ago.

“I have something to ask you,” he starts, his hands on your waist as he starts walking you backward down the hall, seemingly toward your bedroom.

“Trent! Trent!” Ben comes up to the two of you, bouncing up and down, Trent's hands releasing their grip on you. “Are you coming on Friday?” Ben asks him, referencing his concert at school that Trent had promised to come to.

You saw the smile on Trent’s face fade at Ben’s words, a nervous look taking over as he knelt down to look Ben in the eye. “I really want to see your concert, buddy, but I’m not sure if I can make it. I’m gonna try, though, ok?” he tries to save face when he sees the crushed look on your son’s face.

Ben nods, not understanding what Trent was really saying to him. In his world, Trent saying he wasn’t sure meant he didn’t want to see him sing with his other classmates. “Um, Ben, why don’t you go play in your room for a little bit, ok?” you ask him, guiding him to his room, watching him run down the hall. You turn to your boyfriend, clearly confused by what he just told Ben. “It’s the All-Star break, what came up?”

“The guys and I are going away for the break, and I want you to come with me.”

“What are you talking about? You said you were staying here?” you ask him, praying that Ben doesn’t come out of his room and couldn’t hear any of this.

“I know, I know, but, come on, things change,” he says, taking your hand and trying to lead back down your hallway.

“Wait, Trent, come on,” you stop him, turning him around to face you. “You want Ben and I to come with you on a trip with the guys? What guys, where are you going?”

His expression drops again, “I was kinda hoping it would just be me and you.”

“And where would Ben be? I can’t just leave him alone. I can’t go away with you.”

“But, Y/N, come on,” he whines. “This could be so good for us. A few days, just you and me, no distractions, nothing stopping us from just being together, like a real couple.”

“Distractions? A real couple? Trent, what the,” you stop, realizing you were standing right outside of Ben’s door. You look between Trent and the door, Trent’s pleading expression as you take him down the hall, practically slamming the door to your own bedroom. “What the fuck are you talking about?” you hiss.

He sits on your bed, you still standing, towering over him. He puts his hands in his face, letting out a deep breath. “I’m,” he starts, “I just want time where it’s you and me. Other than that night at the bar, we almost never have had more than a few hours when you and I are alone. I need to get out of Boston for a bit, and I don’t want anyone with me beside you.”

“Trent, I can’t,” you protest, sitting down next to him.

“Yes, please, just say, yes.”

“No, Trent. You aren’t hearing what I’m saying.”

“I am, I just-”

“Ok, then you aren’t listening! I can’t just drop everything on a moment’s notice and go off with you on a vacation. I have a kid, and if you haven’t noticed, I can’t exactly afford a babysitter for more than two nights in a row, let alone watching him all day every day for an entire week.”

“Don’t worry, I can pay for one, I just need to get out of here, and I need you with me.”

“Trent, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Ben can stay with a sitter.”

“Don’t you get it? Ben comes first. Ben has to come first. When it comes to a decision between you and Ben, or anyone and Ben, my choice is always Ben. There is never a case when I’ll pick something or someone over him, especially not going on some trip with you and your frat boy-like teammates because you’re upset you had one bad game. I choose him every single time. Especially over you, Trent.”

“What about Ben’s father? Can’t he stay with Andy?”

You can’t help but gasp, hurt by what you thought Trent meant. “You mean the father that didn’t want him? I. Told you. This,” you say, standing up again, “Andy wants nothing to do with Ben. And right now it seems like neither do you.” You could feel the tears threatening to roll down your cheeks, turning around and heading out of your room. You couldn’t look at him. You had no idea where you were going to go, given that you had Ben in his room and couldn’t leave him.

“Y/N, please, I’m sorry,” he runs after you, stopping you before you reached the door. “I just want a few days, where it’s you and me. Where everything is easy for us. Where there’s nothing, no one, besides you and me.”

“This isn’t supposed to be easy. You knew it wasn’t going to be so why are you so shocked that this is how it is?” you tell him, the tears finally falling.

The two of you stand there for a minute, Trent starting to reach for you a few times before running his hands through his hair. “It’s me and Ben, or neither of us,” you give him an ultimatum. His mouth opens and closes like a fish, wishing he can find the words. “Fine. If you can’t make the decision, I will. Get out.”

“Y/N, come on.”

“No. If you have to think about it, then you aren’t ‘all in,’” you call back to the morning after you two met. “Because if you were, you wouldn’t have to think about it.”

Trent doesn’t say another word, pushing past you and leaving you there.

You press your back against the door, letting out a silent sob so that Ben can’t hear you. This was exactly what you were afraid of, wiping the tears from your face and peeling yourself off the door. You walk down the hall, hoping that Ben wouldn’t notice the redness that was probably in your eyes from crying, opening his door.

“Where’s Trent?” Ben asked, handing you a toy of his when you sit down on his floor with him.

You swallow hard, not sure what to really tell him. “He had to go, Benny,” you say, running your hand on his hair, pulling him close to kiss the top of his head.

“When’s he coming back, Mommy?”

You put on a fake smile for him, not wanting to let him know when you really thought Trent would be back. “I don’t know, sweetie. Not this week.”

I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing

You hadn’t checked anyone’s story on Instagram since last night, sitting on the metal chairs in the middle of the day, surrounded by parents much older than you, figuring now was probably the only time you hate the chance.

You tap through them, some stories from friends from college, random celebrities that you followed. You finally get to Jack’s story from last night. They were in Puerto Rico, in some dark restaurant. Zach and Jeremy were dancing, Jack behind the camera. In the corner, you could see Trent sitting at a table, looking miserable. He sees Jack with his camera, shakes his head and storms off. You replay the story, Jack’s shaking making you think that he was saying something and turning the sound on low, holding the phone to your ear. You could hear the music more than anything else, sounds of Zach, Jeremy, and Jack’s laughter breaking through after one of them said something inaudible. Trent must have gotten up at that point, because you hear Jack yell, “Oh, Trent! Come on, man! Have some fun!”

You go to Trent’s profile, hoping that he had posted anything. The last photo he has posted was of the two of you, him strategically cropping out Ben because you had asked him to. It was from Ben’s birthday, outside the restaurant. He had captioned it, ‘Spent the day with my two favorite people, Bear not shown.’

Ben’s preschool teacher gets up on the stage, the high-pitched whispers of the four- and five-year-olds starting by the back door as Ms. Barry introduces the class, all of them walking up in a line to the stage. They start waving to their parents, Ben waving to you as everyone, including you, has their phone out waving back and recording the moment. The children start singing ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,’ their pixie-like voices filling the auditorium, all slightly out of key and slightly out of sync with each other. Towards the end of the song, you notice Ben starting to jump up and down, anxious over something he saw towards the back of the auditorium, as did some of the other children. You figured it was nothing, none of the other parents turning around to look at what it was either.

They go onto their next song, one you weren’t paying attention to, nor did you recognize it. Ben was no less antsy than he was before, waving again with the biggest smile on his face. It had to be someone.

You turn around, Trent leaning against the back wall, one hand in his pocket while the other was waving to Ben. All of his attention was on Ben. You turn back in your seat, shocked that he was there. He was supposed to be in Puerto Rico.

You put your bag on the seat, the mom next to you promising to watch it. You sneak back to Trent, not sure what to say to him. You turn to Ben, giving him the thumbs up and a single finger to tell him that you were going to be back in a second, feeling bad that you were leaving your so. Ben jumps up and down, nodding and continuing to sing.

You grab Trent, pulling him out of the room and into the small hallway. “What are you doing here? You were in Puerto Rico last night; I saw you on Jack’s story.”

He looks down at his feet, biting his bottom lip. “I couldn’t be there knowing you and Ben were here.”

“That’s not what you said when you wanted to go.”

He nods, looking up at you for a second before his eyes flick back down to his feet. “I told you I was dumb.”

“So why are you here then?”

“I told you when we first met that I was all in. I can’t be all in if I’m not here.”

“So?”

He takes a step closer to you, hesitating for a moment. “So. I don’t want to miss anything with you, or with Ben.” You don’t know what came over you, kissing him outside your son’s concert the way you did. You can hear the parents start to cheer, signaling that the concert was finished. Trent pulls away, your foreheads pressed against each other. He smiles before stealing a kiss again, pulling you back inside.

Ben comes running up to you, giggling with his arms open. “Trent!”

“Benny Bear!” he responds, crouching down with his arms open, hugging Ben when he came in contact. He picks him up, kissing him on the cheek, your hand on Trent’s back.

“You came! You’re back!” Ben squeals, burying his face in Trent’s shoulder.

“Back and here to stay,” he says to you, giving you a quick kiss before putting Ben down, getting your bag, and going home.

#trent frederic #trent frederic imagines #boston bruins #bruins imagines #boston bruins imagines #bruins #nhl #nhl imagines #hockey #hockey imagines #aerosmith fic

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shipthatsailsonhoney · 2 years ago

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Eliminating limiting beliefs!!

TW mentions of unaliving

sO! just a little definition (from my own understanding) of limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs is the WALL that we have built that blocks us from what we are trying to manifest.

i have made a diagram to better SEE what i’m trying to talk about.

in basic terms, this is manifesting! We affirm, we believe, we are God, we attract what we desire. RIGHT? okay.

this is manifesting when you have limiting beliefs.

SEE??

THERES A FUCKING WALL IN YOUR WAY BAE

THAT YOU BUILT

it’s okay babes i built one too

limiting beliefs stems from trauma, and just a general sense of shitty self worth.

You can say how beautiful you are. Say it a million times. But if you BELIEVE you’re ugly asf, then it ain’t gonna work.

You need to feel, and believe that you are WORTH being beautiful. That you’re WORTH the love and affection you’re manifesting from your SP.

Yes, you CAN still manifest with limiting beliefs. But it won’t be permanent. It’ll be conditional. Because you’re conditioning your manifestations.

so when you say,

“My SP loves talking to me.”

you’re ACTUALLY saying this

“My SP loves talking to me, but i’m so annoying.”

DAWG NO. NO BUT. NO BELIEVING YOURE NOT WORTH IT.

you ARE worth it.

so here’s the deal.

No more self deprecating jokes. Instead joke about how hot you are. Joke about how confident you are. Eventually it becomes true just trust me on this one.

Any time you ridicule yourself, or talk negatively about yourself, CATCH IT. Shut yo BITCH ASS UP. This is how i do it:

“I hate everything. i am so worthless.”

“HEY. NO. i am NOT worthless. And i don’t hate everything. i love my cat. that’s something to love. I love my hands. i love my friends. i love my sp. i love myself. ETC”

catch yourself. stop yourself. you don’t need to feel like your worthless. it’ll help with manifesting and attraction what you want.

now here’s where the topic of MURDER comes in. BEAR WITH ME-

get a good action playlist. lay down. visualize all your limiting beliefs as an older version of yourself. for example, i had longer hair, but now it’s really short. so i imagine this part of me with longer hair.

and FIGHT THE FUCK OUT OF HER/THEM/HIM. argue with them. tell them how amazing you are. and beat the ever loving shit out of them and murder them. they no longer serve you. they are an old identity that wants nothing good for you. they are the WALL keeping you from loving yourself. kill that bitch.

this is in no way condoning self harm. it’s merely a visualization exercise that i use to better see my progress and use my anger towards bettering myself and “killing” old habits. or the old me that no longer serves me. the little voice in my head that tells me i’m unlovable.

y’all can do this. you deserve the world. you just need to let yourself believe it.

#manifesting #loa #loassumption #manifesting specific person #manifest #law of assumption #law of attraction #writing #loattraction #manifest money #manifesting money #manifesting desires #limiting beliefs #law of manifestation #self care #self love #love yourself

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idontblushsrry · 4 years ago

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Got the Aux hcs||Jujutsu Kaisen

A/N: These hcs are prolly gonna vary from general artists/genres to general chaos towards the end :D also gonna do some for the kyoto school...eventually. Didn’t incl. Yuuta because he’s not here yet but tbh he prolly listens to MCR or smthng let’s be real. I apologize for Maki’s being so short, I know her fanbase is starving for content and I’m sorry I was unable to provide it this time.

Word Count: 1123

Plot Synopsis: Some dumb music taste headcanons for the tokyo school. ((I only included characters that have appeared in the anime like fully, onscreen w lines not just mentioned, and I also only did the main ppl from the Tokyo school so that’s why there’s no Yuta or Nanami.))

Itadori

First and foremost

The man is a barb (Nicki Minaj fans) and a hottie (Megan thee stallion fans)

No I don’t take criticism

Aside from that, Yuji listens to pop and some rap (mostly megan thee stallion)

His pop taste is also not limited by generation, he definitely listens to artists like Anri and Miki Matsubara

Other artists he listens to are probably; Rihanna, Post Malone(he just does, idk why), Doja Cat, Brittany Spears, Shakira, Kesha, Lizzo, Ariana Grande

Fushiguro

Fushiguro unironically listened to wake me up inside in middle school, again, I do not take criticism

He also listens to artists like Mother Mother

Fushiguro is kinda embarrassed of his music tastes though so he’ll lie about what he’s listening to

“Fushiguro what are you listening to?”

*cue panicked Fushiguro struggling to put his phone away* “N-Nothing why”

Also this man listens to Lady Gaga and probably some Panic at the Disco

But for sure panic at the disco

Also he makes playlist named after his friends and what not

Now one might say aww, how sweet

Which, yes it is, but also, Fushiguro refuses to let anyone know his true music tastes so adaptation is necessary for survival

If Fushiguro has the aux, it’s a good day, he knows everyone’s music tastes and probably already has a playlist tailored specifically to everyone’s taste, there’s never a single song that everyone hates

Kugisaki

She listens to Avril Lavigne and Kesha

Her and Yuuji have pretty similar music tastes (himbo/lesbian solidarity)

She also listens to songs like Jenny(by the studio killers) and Youth(Troye Sivan) and just stares at the ceiling pining

Her playlist reflects this

From pop to pining and then back again

Also she hasn’t stopped streaming Driver’s License(Olivia Rodrigo), her and Yuuji listen to it and every time she just falls out (when it first came out, she got so invested in the drama of it all)

Genres she listens to are rock ballads, pop, and any playlist with words including but not limited to ‘wlw’, ‘girls are pretty’, ‘how to not have a crush on Maki-senpai’

Artists she listens to incl. Kali Uchis (stumbled upon Dead To Me and hasn’t ben the same since), Queen, pop girlies like Brittany Spears, and Troye Sivan

Maki

Maki mainly listens to workout music or indie/chill beats

Like her playlists are lowkey dry

And she refuses to use spotify premium, even though Gojo’s paying fo it

I can also see her listening to an occasional orchestral/instrumental piece like Ushiwakamaru

Inumaki also kind of put her onto listening to video game soundtracks, she probably listens to the soundtracks of games like Persona tbh

She does allow herself the small pleasure of listening to Hozier from time to time

Inumaki

Inumaki is a menace

His music taste, while there are bangers, mainly consists of music found in memes/tiktoks/etc.

((He also listens to video game music, but more of the Mario Kart sort))

I’m thinking like Vengaboys, Aqua, etc.

He does listen to other artists like Junko Ohashi and Rina Sawayama on occasion, the majority of his music taste exists to make him laugh as he thinks of all the random jokes made to the songs

Whenever, Inumaki has the aux cord, everyone in the car just mentally prepares themselves

With Inumaki, they feel bad telling him to stop because he’s really sweet and nice, and, maybe he just doesn’t know

But he does know, he just doesn’t care

Panda

Panda listens to 80/90s rap

Tbh he’s got the best music taste out of everyone sorry not sorry

He mainly listened to whatever Yaga put on growing up so that’s why his taste is older than he is

Artists for Panda include Biggie, Pac, Outkast, etc.

Principal Yaga is black I just know Panda grew up listening to Ice Cube and the like while he was training I just knowwww

Panda’s playlist choices though usually aren’t too egregious

While Panda’s no Fushiguro in terms of adaptability, who’s really gonna be opposed to listening to bangers from the 90′s

Gojo

Gojo’s taste in music exists solely to torture Fushiguro

Now does he necessarily like any of these songs he plays? No

But does his desire to antagonize out rule his dislike? Yesyesyesyesyes

Gojo, unlike Inumaki, does not get the same sympathy

When Gojo syncs up his Bluetooth (bcus let’s be real that man does not have a car with a physical aux cord) everyone in the car just lets out the loudest groan

Just for that he’s gonna make 3 extra unnecessary turns

In actuality though, when he’s not bothering his students or Nanami, I imagine Gojo is a fan of 90′s rap as well as classical music

I think he also likes rock too, he discovered it back in his student days and it never really went away

He also definitely has a playlist called something like ‘my main character music’

General car shenanigans(imagine this as a class trip to some place that’s about 2 hours away)

Gojo and Inumaki team up to antagonize everyone

Like they will play 10 hour loops of caramelldansen with absolutely ZERO remorse

Fushiguro and Kugisaki slowly just go insane during the course of this

Although, Kugisaki will be a lot more vocal about it, cussing up a storm by the 4th loop.

This will then lead to Gojo and Inumaki being overthrown; Gojo being replaced with Ichiji at the wheel and Inumaki on thin fuckin ice

When the inevitable silence becomes too much to handle, Yuuji will tentatively offer to play his music

It’s all good, California Girls and Toxic instant hits

Yujji’s reign will end in one of two ways; 1) eventually, a Megan Thee Stallion song comes on a Gojo’s like “whoa kid, that’s not very family friendly” or 2)The sound of Kugisaki, Gojo, and Itadori singing poorly on purpose pushes Maki to take over out of frustration

Either way Maki takes over and they all kinda doze off because of how chill and soothing Maki’s music is

This ends when Ichiji gets a little too relaxed by the music and almost swerves, causing them to abruptly cut the music off

Panda just puts his paws up non-defensively like, “Don’t ask me, my music isn’t family-friendly either

At which point they all look to Fushiguro to save the day

And he does... until his phone battery dies

(Bonus) Sukuna

Sukuna probably tunes out all the miscellaneous stuff that Yuuji listens to

But one day he was minding his business till he heard Yuuji playing a Nicki Minaj song

Now, whenever Yuuji falls asleep, Sukuna will pop out every once in a while just to turn on Nicki.

#no i do not take criticism #i will also not be arguing this lmaoo #feel free to add on if u want just tag me so I can see it #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #itadori yuji headcanons #itadori yuuji headcanons #itadori headcanons #fushiguro headcanons #fushiguro megumi headcanons #kugisaki headcanons #maki headcanons #maki zenin headcanons #inumaki haedcanons #gojo satoru headcanons #gojo headcanons #idontblushsrry

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taehoneys · 4 years ago

Text

Bad Guy | JJK ft. KTH (M)

A certain video circulates the school after your big mistake and you never do mistakes, but you did this time… a big one: J e o n J u n g k o o k

— Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. Taehyung

— Genre: Drama

— AU(s): College!AU Fratboy!AU

— Warnings: Fingering, Oral, choking, all kinds of sex, okay? Oh, and sometimes it's unprotected.

— Word Count: 4.6k

— Note: This is the first actual fic that I will post to Tumblr! I’m nervous/excited. I hope you enjoy it.

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01; I'm the Bad Guy

Jeon Jungkook.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t heard that name before. Of course you have… The campus was big, but rumors had it that Jeon Jungkook was bigger. Harder, better, faster, stronger weren’t just four words Jungkook was known for saying, they were four words he was praised for delivering. Oh how girls would die to squirm under Jungkook’s touch, to be taken to a place only he could take you, and he knew that. Jungkook knew he had girls at the palm of his hand (which is how he got himself in the palm of theirs).

Every single one of them too. He wanted to give every girl a chance, which is why he never gave anyone a second taste. “What about the others?” He would justify himself, “I have to be fair.” Which is why Jungkook was not only a bad guy, but a bad idea. Especially if you were going to fall in love that easy, Jeez. I guess it’s just easier for everyone to hope they could be the one to change him. Which explains why many girls flock to his frat parties just for the chance to be plucked from the crowd.

Sex is one hell of a drug. Be careful who you give it to, Jeon. Many would show up, but few were given a special invitation. One meant that you were basically good enough for him and would let you bypass the long line stretching outside the house. The reason it was so long wasn’t just because of the girls, but also because of all the eager (and horny) guys trying to get in to be an unlucky girl’s shoulder to cry on or their drunk one night stand.

But they had to be cautious of their choice.

The Beta Tau Sigma frat house was nicknamed “The Fratican” which fit perfectly because it was run like a total monarchy with Jungkook as the head. On the contrary, there was nothing holy about Jungkook. He only held as much influence as the pope in that house. You see, no one was allowed to ever touch the girls that Jungkook had set his eyes on. It was as serious as being banned permanently from the house and even being kicked out of the brotherhood; After all, bros before hoes (unless, you were Mr. Jeon Jungkook).

So yes, you’ve heard more than enough of Jungkook to decide you didn’t like him at all. Which explains how you ended up with an invite in your hands this morning after your Economics lecture, the course you happened to share with Jungkook. Every time Jungkook attempted to answer a question and it was wrong, you would immediately correct him from the other side of the room, and Jungkook almost got every question wrong.

“Name one of the explanations for the law of demand.” The teacher directed the question at Jungkook, giving him a chance to redeem himself after the last few failures.

Jungkook tapped his pencil against the desk, indicating he was already pissed off from getting the previous questions wrong.

“Umm, okay…Number of consumers ? More people want a product so demand all moves up?”

Your hand immediately shot up causing Jungkook to drop his pencil, and shut his eyes in annoyance as he bit down hard on his lip.

The teacher smiled your way and gave you permission to explain your answer with a nod.

“That doesn’t explain the law of demand. That’s just one of the shifters of demand. Law of demand is the relationship price has on quantity of demand. So for example, the law of diminishing marginal utility is one of the reasons for the downward curve of demand. As more people get a taste of a product, their satisfaction is sure to diminish. So people will only demand more of the product at a cheaper price.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes at you, catching a bit of what you were trying to tell him.

“Oh I get it now. Kind of like Income effect. You know, where a product is only worth desiring because it’s cheap and easy for the poorer people to get.”

You had a feeling you guys weren’t talking about supply and demand anymore by the way Jungkook kept his eyes narrowed onto you. You just narrowed yours back.

“Well, I’m more than amazed to see two students passionately debating in my class for once. However—to sum things up—Your first answer was wrong Jungkook and Y/N was correct, but I’m glad that she was able to straighten that all out for you. Now remember class assignment 2-4…. ”

With a “hmph” you close your notebook and start to pack up, completely satisfied. All the while, you know Jungkook is staring at you. When you look his way, he’s got his jaw clenched and the grip on his pencil is so tight that the vein on his arm has become prominent. By the looks of it, If you were any closer, you were sure he’d chuck it at you.

You thought that that the battle zone would only limit itself to the lecture hall, but as soon as everyone started leaving you caught Jungkook throwing himself over the lecture seats until he was in the row you were in, heading your way. You cursed at the long line preventing you from making a quick escape. Just when you were at the exit, Jungkook had made it right to your side. You held your breath, waiting for him to say something to you, but he didn’t. Instead, he bumped harshly against your shoulder before pushing past you. Seriously?

It wasn’t until you were hanging in the quad with your friends that you received the invite.

Jungkook was across the quad at first. He was crowded among his frat brothers, guys that wanted to be them and girls that wanted to do them. He wasn’t paying attention to them though because his eyes were drilling into yours. You struck a nerve inside him in the lecture hall. Were you trying to get noticed by him? Was that it? No, you clearly didn’t like him. But you didn’t even know him and he never did anything to you. All you knew were whatever rumors circulated around campus about him. So whatever happened to common courtesy?

Pushing past everyone (and earning an eyebrow raise from his best friend, Taehyung), he walked straight your way. Taehyung watched, stretching the gum in his mouth until he was able to blow a bubble. Once it popped, he pushed off the edge of the wall and followed Jungkook over, curious to why he was heading over towards those in Gamma Psi Alpha. Gamma Psi Alpha wasn’t a social fraternity like Beta Tau Sigma. They were a professional co-ed fraternity. Scratch that: They were an elite, professional fraternity.

Jungkook stopped right in front of you and your other friends. Taehyung and the rest lined up beside him. This caused everyone to fall silent as the tension built up with the meeting of the fraternities. Jungkook’s eyes carefully scanned your other friends, reading the three letters on some of their shirts before settling back onto you.

‘Oh, you’re a good girl, aren’t you?“

He threw the invitation to your friend group as a joke. All because you got on his bad side. "Be a little less boring and let loose, why don’t you?” He whispered into your ear hotly before storming away with his posse. It angered you, entirely. The way he assumed that you didn’t know how to have fun and that you were this goody two-shoes who followed every rule just because you were a little smart? Or did he assume that any girl that didn’t want him was just as uninteresting as their disinterest for him? Oh, you were going to this party. And you were planning to show him that he was the one beneath you.

So how did you end up beneath him?

Why were you letting him hover over you? Undressing you, button by button? Caressing your sides and gripping your thighs? And what exactly was making the room spin? Was it the alcohol or the way his tongue ran up the side of your ear as his fingers worked their way inside you?

The moans wanted to come out of your mouth, but you wouldn’t let them. You had to bite down hard on your lip as your hand traveled down to wrap around Jungkook’s wrist, your mind and your body conflicted. He raised an eyebrow at you because for a second he thought you wanted to stop. Yet he didn’t, so he quickly inserted his second digit into you. As he scissored his fingers apart, your grip would loosen more and more.

You hated the way he was looking at you. Head tilted and chin up, but eyes down and dangerous. It was the spark that started the fire inside of you and by the way his lips curled into a cocky grin, he knew that.

His fingers started rubbing your warmth and his mouth watered as his fingers coated with your wetness. “Such a pretty little cunt.” Jungkook panted slightly as his fingers rubbed faster into you, causing you to lift your hips in an attempt to have them deeper into you. You cursed yourself for acting so desperate and so willing. Pressing your lips tightly together, you kept your whines within. The least you could do for yourself was not give him the satisfaction of hearing the way he drove you crazy.

“C'mon give me something.” Jungkook growled, leaning over you slightly as he began to thrust his fingers into you harshly. You gasped loudly and you jerked upright to grab onto his flexed bicep in an attempt to slow him down. It only made him pump faster into you as he challenged you with his eyes.

“J-Jung-” Your breath hitched inside your throat as you drew up your eyes to meet his.

He leaned in close to your face, tilting his head as his nose brushed against yours. “Hmm? What is it, good girl?”

You frowned, but before you could even open your mouth to give him lip, Jungkook’s thumb began to lazily play with your clit as his fingers returned to rub you, making you’re body under his control again.

“F-Fuck!” You fell back onto your back and let out all the moans you’ve kept trapped inside of you. Fuck Jungkook and fuck Jungkook. You were supposed to fuck him up good not fuck him real good. You reach for the pillow on the bed and cover your face to scream into it because Jungkook was using two hands and he was using them to make a mess out of you.

Jungkook didn’t like that though. He angrily yanked the pillow from your grip and growled, “I want to fucking hear you…because I’m about to make you beg, good girl.”

You rolled your head over, gripping onto the sheets, completely flushed as Jungkook played with you. With each strum of Jungkook’s thumb against your clit, you would buck your hips into the air.

The pleasure was building inside of you and you felt like you couldn’t take it anymore. “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” you chanted as you gripped onto the bed sheets tighter. You felt your muscles tensing and you sat straight up immediately, pulling Jungkook’s face close to yours as you stared at him, flushed and flustered to the core.

His mouth parted and he released an unstable breath as he continued to pump his fingers into you— harder and faster. You were about to kiss him, but chose the safer alternative to bury your face against his neck as you let out one long moan, giving into the pressure and pleasure exploding within you. Until you came back from the clouds, you rode his slender fingers out.

Only then did you realize where exactly you two had stumbled into. You had somehow made it all the way up to his room, not even far enough to cancel out the music or stop the bass from vibrating though the walls. Although, Jungkook had attempted to drown it out with his own music coming from the smart speaker on his nightstand. The only lighting available in the room came from the LED strip bordering his ceiling. It allowed you to see just enough of Jungkook in this moment. This crazy moment.

You slowly opened your eyes, still trying to catch your breath, to see that Jungkook was merely centimeters away. His fringe fell over his eyes and all you could see was his mouth which twitched into a big, tipsy grin. “You’re so fucking sexy.” He tugged on his bottom lip and tipped his head back before he stopped leaning over you. You’re eyes dropped down to watch his hands, which hooked at the hem of your panties still hanging around your thighs and pulled them down to your ankles. You looked up at Jungkook and he cocked an eyebrow at you, letting you know that up next was your move and your choice.

You kicked them off with your other foot and then looked back at him. Jungkook then wasted no time in pushing you to lay down on your back, letting you then watch as he yanked the shirt over his head, his hair ruffling back down to place after it was completely off. His hands quickly worked at his belt before unbuttoning his jeans and then pulling them down slightly to reveal his bulge.

Just staring at it was enough to tell you the rumors weren’t just rumors. He grabbed your hand and guided it to the hem of his boxers. You nervously bit your lip as you slowly started to tug them down, not ready to confirm the rumors yourself. When you pulled them down far enough, his hard-on sprung out of his boxers, revealing not only that it was ready, but that it was aching. You weren’t going to lie, You had seen dicks his size before, but his girth outshines them all (or maybe he was just that turned on by you?).

You licked your lips and quickly got on your knees. You pushed all your hair over one shoulder before wrapping your hand around his member. Jungkook let out a long “shiiiit” at the sight as he pulled down his boxers and pants further, giving you room to make it as sloppy and messy as your heart desired.

You licked your lips before taking him into your mouth, your tongue laying flat as it traveled underneath his penis. You made sure to rub your tongue against him every time you took him out of your mouth. Humming, you let him know you were more than pleased to get a taste of him. Jungkook leaned back on his hands, rolling his head back as you started to let your tongue explore every bit of him, swirling and swirling.

You took a peek up at him and one look was all it took for you to know that the way you were performing fellatio was driving him insane. Jungkook had his bottom lip nipped between his teeth to gate his moans. With every raise of his hips, he inserted himself further into your mouth and you took it. In fact, you took him even deeper down your throat, finally earning a “F-fuck!” from Jungkook.

Jungkook fell completely on his back, fixing his legs straight out from underneath him where he was able to kick off his jeans completely. Running his hand through his hair, he combed back the waves to get a little cool relief.

This time that you put his dick back into your mouth, you hallow your cheeks and bob your head up and down, moving the foreskin to his pleasure. Jungkook hisses and his hand immediately shoots up to grip your hair tightly. Purring, you let him know how much you enjoy the rough treatment. It gave you confidence to continue; which you do steadily, trying not to mess up the rhythm you have going because all the “Ah"s coming from Jungkook turn you on more.

Jungkook wasn’t afraid to be vocal. He just wanted you to work for the grunts and moans, but now that he let out a few, he just let them all rush out. They came in tiny grunts at first, but as you continued stroking his dick with your mouth, he couldn’t help but let out whines and mewls. It drove you absolutely crazy and you felt wet all over again. With one long hiss, Jungkook pulled you back by your hair, making you look at him.

You ran your tongue across your swollen lips, slowly. It directed his attention to your mouth and he became entranced by it, bringing you up for a closer look. You gladly crawled over him, never breaking the eye contact coming form his sultry eyes. He dropped his gaze back down to your lips, but you didn’t dare move closer to him. Not even when he brushed his nose against yours, his very breath tickling your lips as he picked up his head to bring his own closer.

Yet, he didn’t kiss you and you weren’t going to kiss him either. It was like he wanted you to dive in for the kiss, just so he can cockily reply "no kissing allowed” and he definitely wasn’t going to kiss you first because that would make him seem too compliant. So, instead, he smirked as his lips ghostly brushed against yours, traveling across your cheek until his head abruptly fell back onto the pillow because you had just guided his dick inside of you.

The feeling of fucking finally spread to your core as you sunk down his dick, his dick burrowing further and further, stretching you out as it struggled to entire deep into your warmth. You scrunch up your face as you throb from the pain, afraid to take him too suddenly. “You’re so fucking tight,” Jungkook groans as he throws his head back. You whine slightly, pushing your hips down so his dick can burrow entirely in your warmth. You weren’t a virgin, he was just meaty. The pain quickly fades and you feel flutters inside your stomach, pleased with how full you felt. It caused you to clench a couple times around his cock. The feeling itself good enough to make you forget to move (which a quick slap to the ass from Jungkook’s impatient ass fixed).

“Fuck, it’s soo thick,” You complimented him as you began to glide yourself up and down his glorious length. “How can I take all of it?”

Jungkook’s mouth parted, his hands firmly grabbing your hips to support you as you rode him. “Keep talking like that.” Jungkook ordered, making you recognize that dirty talk was a turn on to him.

You weren’t one for dirty talk, but something about Jungkook made you want to tell him how much you were enjoying him being inside you. “Fuck, It’s sooo good, you’re so good…mm I want you to fuck me good… make me cum aaallll over this good cock,” You moaned the words as you gyrated your hips up and down. Jungkook’s eyes darkened and he slapped your ass, earning a yelp from you.

“Such dirty words coming from such a good girl~” Jungkook grabs your hips and starts meeting you halfway, rapidly thrusting.

“Oh fuck!” You still so Jungkook can take over momentarily, his hips snapping up against yours as his dick forces deeper and deeper. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You chant, losing air. Jungkook had no intention of slowing down and you didn’t really want him to. He was pounding into you over and over and you were starting to come apart. If he didn’t stop, he was going to break you. Your hands fall onto his chest, needing support from his forceful entries.

“Shit,” He curses as he breathes heavy. The heat was rising between you two so much that Jungkook started to slow down, the sweat on his forehead letting you know he had exhausted himself, so you pick up where he left off.

“Mmm,” You let out satisfied sighs each time you sink back so Jungkook’s dick strikes you center again and again. Leaning more over him, you move your hands to rest on the bed. This allows you to have more control of your ass, bouncing it up and down so much that Jungkook can’t help but wrap his strong arm around your thigh. He sets his hand on your ass and grips onto it so he can pull you into him with each ride.

“You feel so fucking good. Oh, fuck. You’re pussy’s so tight.” Jungkook compliments you and you reward him by gripping onto the headboard so you could bounce on his dick. Bringing down your hips, You smile with pleasure, lolling your head to the side as you land on his dick in the perfect spot. You like this position because it also gives Jungkook a view of himself disappearing inside you. Jungkook grunts, mesmerized with watching how his entire length can’t fit inside you.

Getting a bit tired, you decide to rest your hands back onto the bed, throwing it back to his dick, the bed creaking louder with your fast pace. “Ohhh…” You sigh pleasurably as you continue to work on getting Jungkook to his climax. You didn’t know if he was close or not, but you could care less at this point. Jungkook just felt that fucking good inside of you. So you were more than happy to meet him halfway in his thrusts, this tingling sensation coursing through you. By the way Jungkook’s grip tightened on your ass, you were doing a good job in getting him to orgasm.

“Oh fuck~” Jungkook grinned briefly, eyes closing as he was overcome with bliss. Your continuous sharp inhales were pushing him to the edge and he had to wrap his other arm around you, completely wrapping his arms around your ass so the thrusts were smaller, but remained deeper.

“Be a good girl and don’t cum when I haven’t cum,” Jungkook grunts as he stares up at you, chest heaving. You nod your head and keep moving fast against him, tired but eager to unravel him. He continues to breathe heavy as you keep moving fast against him, your inhales become shorter and shorter apart while his grunts become deeper.

“Just a little more, not yet.” Jungkook growled.

You started to whine, already wanting to find your release before his. “Fuck, I’m going to-” You’re breath hitches and you gasp, clenching around him uncontrollably, vision filling with tiny moving dots.

“Fuck,” He hisses as he helps you ride him out during your orgasm. Just as you gravitated back, Jungkook surprised you by quickly thrusting back into you. This time, his breathing was getting louder and more intense. Every “fuck” out of his mouth revealing how desperate he was for his own release.

You moan loudly for him. Every thrust grows rougher and desperate, your breasts bouncing for Jungkook’s gratification. He concentrates on how you look: your baby hair curled from the sweat on your forehead, eyes shut, and mouth agape. It’s a beautiful sight for him and it doesn’t take him much before he feels the surge and immediately shouts, “Get off!”

He pulls your hips up and takes his dick out of you to then shoot out ribbons of cum. Every pulse of his cock shoots it out further, accidentally aiming at your face. Mouth open and tongue out, you attempt to catch some of it and with the help of Jungkook directing his nut into your mouth, you do.

He tilts his head back and grits his teeth as he contains the grunts, until finally he’s done and it’s just you two breathing heavily in the room. You don’t wait long enough for things to get awkward and you quickly get off of him to then sit on the bed. You hear him reach over to his nightstand where he opens the drawer to take out a couple of baby wipes. You mentally roll your eyes because of course he’s prepared. He hands you a couple and you take them to wipe yourself before sitting back on the bed where you tuck your hair behind your ear as you stare at your clothes on the floor. It’s hot, like really hot in the room and you dread putting your clothes back on, but what other choice did you have?

You stand, accidentally stumbling into the nightstand. “Shit,” you mutter as you try to gain enough balance to pick up your clothes from the floor. The whole time, you could feel Jungkook’s eyes on you, but you don’t dare look his way, concentrating on only the task of putting your clothes back on.

“You didn’t kiss me,” Jungkook clicks his tongue. Peaking at him, you see he’s comfortably in bed, hands behind his head with only his boxers put back on.

“Why would I?” You roll your eyes at him as you button up your pants.

“Most girls would try.” Jungkook throws a playful grin your way.

Try. So you were correct in assuming that Jungkook didn’t allow kissing. That wasn’t the only word that caught your attention though. You glide your tongue over your teeth before shrugging his way, “Well, I’m not like most girls. All I wanted was a good fuck and I got it.”

You didn’t mean to default back to being a bitch towards Jungkook, but what he said was just so cocky. By saying “most girls” he basically viewed you as one of his girls. So seeing his face fall after your snarky remark was a bit satisfying. You may have crawled into his bed like the other girls, but you weren’t going to try and get more out of it like the others probably begged to.

Grabbing your keys from the nightstand, you turned to him with a little wave, “So don’t worry. I won’t be making this mistake again, Bad guy.”

His eyebrows twitched, coming together into a frown, and the way he cocked his head told you a confusing thought had entered his mind. Though, before he could say anything else, you left his room, diving back through the crowd until you were completely out of his frat house, vowing to never enter again and do the same mistake, because that’s what Jungkook was—a mistake.

As you walked to your car, you tried to make sense of Jungkook’s expression. Was he actually hurt by what you said? Maybe you were just feeling bad for no reason. After all, it’s Jungkook you were talking about and it was you we were talking about. You two were very different. The fraternities you were in were an example of that. Jungkook cared about blasting his years at college parties and creating a social reputation. You cared about your academic record and your respected reputation. In the end, Jungkook was right. You were nothing more than a good girl.

And you will always be a good girl…

Before opening your car door, you turned to look over your shoulder. You draw up your eyes to the window on the second floor where you catch the shadows of two people behind the curtain. The gentle breeze does you a favor and moves the curtain briefly, enough for you to see the two people wrapped around each other in the room. You roll your eyes and get into your car.

… and you guess Jeon Jungkook will always be a bad guy.

__________________________

Note: Wow, what a chapter! It took me like 4 days to write this, but I hope it was a thick chapter /WINK/ Let me know.

NEXT CHAPTER >

#Jungkook Smut #BTS smut #Jeon Jungkook #Jungkookxreader #jeon jeongguk #fratboy!jk #fratboy jungkook #college au #jungkook college au #jungkook fanfic #jungkookff #taehoneys

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jyunshiim · 4 years ago

Text

Daisies & Clementine’s *✬★*’☽* ✬ ⤷Han X Reader

Genre → fluff | friends to lovers | childhood friends to lovers |

Contains → fluff

Listen to → playlist I was inspired by

Word count → 7K (7749)

TW → none

Summary: You and Jisung have been childhood companions for many years. Growing up was a breeze for you both, sharing a lot and being there for each other when each other were in need. Jisung asked you one day if you were allowed to spend a month holiday on Jeju Island with him and his family. A simple holiday, yet held great value.

The saying goes, that there is one person in the world that is meant for you: a soulmate. Although some soulmates aren’t so easy to find, hidden in the depths of the shadows of your life almost hidden until the last moments of your life. Unfortunately, it does happen but what is more common are soulmates that don’t even know it yet. Only until you feel like you’ve lost them or that they might not return what you have for them until something ever so specific happens.

***

The stars were glittering in the ebony abyss above you and your best friend Jisung. Jisung had always been your friend ever since that one time in school where you were mocked for not understanding a mathematics question and he helped you and became your tutor ever since. You weren’t the best with number and often struggled with understanding mathematical concepts but Jisung was there for you and took his precious time to study with you, day in day out. Without fail, his warm grin always consoled you as if he was indirectly telling you “it’s okay, I’m here for you”. You knew he’d be your home and your comfort even if you both went your separate ways and found love one day. You were both 16 at the time when he used to tutor you and by the time you both turned 18 and were making crucial life choices, you made choices you were 100% sure with. You didn’t want to leave Jisung behind and going to the same local university in your city was the only thing you could do to stay with him. Your parents didn’t like the idea of you pursuing a career in arts, particularly anything to do with literature and writing. It was deemed ‘useless’ in their eyes, so lacklustre of you. They were certain you weren’t getting anywhere with a degree in literature, but you loved writing; it was your form of expression. Jisung supported it all the way through. He chose to do music composition and production which he was outstanding at. You vividly remember during your summer break he wrote a song about the pair of you going to the convenience store and made it sound so mesmeric. Your best friend Jisung. What would you do without a friend like him?

***

The biting cold making icicles at the tip your fingertips, the tip of your nose as crimson as sweet cranberries, your knee bouncing up and down trying to warm you up. “what’s taking him so long?” you say to yourself as you stand up although during that moment, you see a chestnut brown-haired boy bolting down the streets, his fleece long jacket flailing in the polar winds, the hood of his hoodie falling off his head. Your face lights up – as always- when you saw his panicked face bolting through crowds of people who too were shopping. It was so endearing how he ran, a half jog half run. You laugh to yourself gripping the heat packs in your pocket until he arrived in front of you his hands, knuckles tinted light carmine, resting on your shoulders panting for breath.

“where were you?” your hands searching your pockets for the heat packs you had and holding it against his face, Jisung sniffling because of the cold weather. “I-I was trying…trying to buy something and the-” he struggles to speak as he holds his chest. “hey Jisung stop talking, let’s get you warm,” you hold his hand, a heat pack between your palm and his; fingers interlocking to keep it in place. It made him feel warm inside and out, a smile appearing on his face as he looked down, his brown wavy hair flopping down. The café had a homely feel, ever so reminiscent. You never knew why; possibly the rustic feel to it the lower ceilings and roof supports with warm fairy lights coiled around them. The counter was made out of a light wood, oak perhaps. You weren’t too keen on identifying trees. “You sit here okay, and I’ll be back with our drinks okay Han?” only you were allowed to call him by his surname although he claimed it as his nickname. He nodded, smiled sweetly and sat cosied up in an arm chair. “Do you want me to hold your bag for you?” he grabbed your arm before you left and you turned around. “oh yeah sure! That’d be great thank you,” you take your bag off your shoulder and he grabs the bag into hands and places it in his lap.

Jisung loved bitter coffee paired with a sweet dessert. The pure happiness he would endure simply from a strawberry cheesecake and any type of Americano coffee, hot or cold. It was different to you; you loved sweet drinks and savory-ish snacks (although a cheesecake was always so delightful when you were with Jisung). Jisung’s eye would sparkle, like he was holding the entire universe, whenever he saw something, he loved. Damn you for being so blind, his love for cheesecake was godly. Jisung warmed up, the condensation on the window making it fog up so he drew a smiley face. He was happy. You walk over with your tray and he immediately got up to take the tray out of your hands and place it down himself. “you never disappoint me,” he gasps at the creamy cake and the piping hot coffee. “I’m your best friend I will never forget until the day I die!” you pledge to him before sitting down giggling at his endearing reaction to such a simple food. You tear a bit of your croissant and place it in your mouth letting the subtle sweetness and savoury enthral you. The combination with your caramel macchiato, the combination of flavours combining and comforting you. Jisung introduced you to the caramel macchiato and croissant combination and ever since you got that every single time. “how are you feeling now Han?” you ask him, whilst leaning on your hand and tilting your head at him. He gazes into your eyes and smiles endearingly, “a lot better now, I was trying to get your birthday present, and I got held up! I am sorry about that,” he apologises. “what! You didn’t have to what the hell!” you lean over the table and slap his shoulder gently. “hey it is MY duty to take care of you until someone decides to sweep you off your feet,” he tuts, “they better treat your right!” he warns you for your future relationships. You nod and agree with what he says, “well my bestie Hannie will be there for me and likewise I will be there for you too!” you rub a tiny spec of cheesecake from the corner of his mouth, “a child, that’s what you are,” you joke with him.

You were disrupted by a strong gust of wind that collided with the glass where Jisung drew his smiley face and droplets of rain appears dragging down the window. The pattering of the raindrops where almost rhythmic, like the universe was performing for you. In fact, you loved the rain a lot that you wished to have your first kiss in the rain – it was cliché and cheesy – but Jisung always listened to your dreams and desires and what you wished for. The rain was comforting, like the clouds were telling you it was okay to be sad and to cry now and then. You were full of content in this given moment; a warm coffee between your palms, the icicles melting off and the colour in your frostbitten hands appearing. “do you want to try some?” Jisung scoops a spoonful of cheesecake and hovers over the table holding it in front of you. It was endearing, he always shared everything he had and of course you did the same. “of course?” you take the spoon from him and taste the cheesecake. The sweetness infiltrating your system as soon as it touched your tastebuds. “wow this place does really good cheesecakes, perhaps I’ll have to come here more often!” you smile at him. The bellicose rain thrashed against the window now, the winds were stronger, but you had to leave to get home although you needed to take a 30-minute bus journey back home and the weather was abysmal! “you are in no way going home in this weather!” Jisung tutted, “luckily, I do live literally around the corner,” he was definitely inviting you over, he was very clingy! “I can just go home; the bus comes in like-” you check your phone. 45 minutes. “never mind I will gladly take your considerate offer,” you laugh. “ah these buses aren’t the best now are they, let’s go now before there are too many people on the streets!” he stands up fixing his little jacket and handing back your bag. “unless you want me to hold it,” he offers. He was so selfless and sweet. “you’re not my boyfriend so why would you! It’s okay, I can take it back,” you play around.

***

You thank the baristas before Jisung pushes the glass door open for you and lets you go first. “I don’t have a hood!” you squeal before putting your hands above your head but Jisung was on his feet to the rescue, holding out his jacket and covering you with it. “let’s run to the convenience store alright! In 3, 2, 1-” you clutched onto his jacket covering you and bolted with his laughing at the playful noises he made before sheltering at the convenience store. You looked around the store for a few things to snack on. “I’ll pay so get whatever you like since you paid for my coffee,” he holds the basket. “shut up, you bought me a birthday present when I didn’t want you to!” you tut at him, “god what am I gonna do with you?” you scoff jokily. You see a pile of Clementine’s which you had to get because you loved them so much and it reminded you of the summers you used to drink fresh orange juice with Jisung near the river. You put them in the basket and Jisung looked confused; “oranges?” he looks at you with confusion. “I just really like oranges Jisung,” you smile. He took a mental note of that. After grabbing a few snacks, it was still raining, and he did the same thing again sheltering you with his own jacket and running to his house which was a minute or two away.

The door to his home creaked open, and the warmth hitting your face as quick as a train on tracks. The waft of freshly cooked rice drifts past your nose and it reminds you of all the times you and Jisung got stuck in the rain, just like this very occasion, and his mother made warm rice with a savoury soup. Jisung takes your jacket and takes it to his room to hang it up and comes back to the kitchen. “it’s raining bad so is it okay if-” Jisung gets cut off by his parents, “of course she can! Any time and if she needs to stay, we can accommodate her too!” His mother adored you, it was endearing. After your quick dinner with his parents, which his parents were more than happy to provide for you, you sat in Jisung’s bedroom. His room was as neat as it could be. When walking in, his bed was in the far-left corner pointing towards the large window, to the right of his room was his mic, computer and music equipment and next to that was his shelf with various different items like trophies and frames as well as the daisy chain he made for you. He also has his TV attached to the corner of his wall.

“oi why did you keep the daisy chain?” you asked him as he turned around, his hand on the remote to turn on the small TV in his room. “it’s pretty, isn’t it?” He gives a playful smile before jumping onto his bed and leaning against the headboard. “I never took you for such a sappy sentimental person,” you nudge him. “you learn something new every day,” he smiles before turning something on to keep you occupied. This was just comfort. Just you and your best friend of many years, spending quality time together. Your head lay on his dog plushie – which you gifted him so he would stop complaining he was lonely –your locks sprawling over it. Jisung glances over to you entranced by your own thoughts, a whole world inside your mind – he was intrigued as to what you were thinking. “hey, what are you thinking?” he sits up leaning down so he was in front of your face. It only came to your realisation he was laying next to you, face to face to get your attention. You sit up. “oh umm-“ you think fast, “the oranges!” you point at his desk at the clementine’s sat perfectly in the punnet it was in. You and Jisung spent an hour or so watching a show and talking about university and how you want to travel the world. He listened to you attentively to every word you said before his parents knocked and said that the rain storm had stopped and they can take you home. So shortly after, you gathered your belongings and Jisung followed you and his parents to the car. You forgot one thing, your hair tie that had a little rabbit charm on it; you had it ever since you were little and you forgot it at his house, at least it was Jisung though. Since then something changed in the air. A shift. Although only time will tell and expose what changed.

***

6:35 am your alarm blared through your bedroom, your head tucked under your grey and white sheets trying to accumulate warmth since you had to manually turn the heating on. You groaned tiresomely, your arm extending to find your phone, knocking it off the bedside table. You wanted to cuss it out because morning where NOT your forte. You sit up and grab your robe and draped it over your body and go to the bathroom to freshen up before getting ready for university. Jisung woke up at 8 because the campus was so near but you had to commute. You took your time doing your makeup and getting dressed, grabbing your bag and putting your notebook, laptop, stationary and your pouch in. You grab a jacket and your umbrella before promptly leaving at 7:57 am to catch the 8am bus to get to school. You managed to get to campus just before your lecture allowing you some time to get coffee to wake up a bit however… that plan did not seem very doable since the queue was incredibly long, so you gave up and went to the library to sit in your usual seat and wait for the lecture.

“hey!” you hear a whisper, and you ignore it thinking it was for someone else before you feel someone breathing on the back of your neck. Your instinct would be to slap the person but as you turn around with a fearful expression, you realise it’s Jisung with his starry eyes giving you that smile. “I got here early and got you your favourite,” he points at the seat you both sit at which was hidden behind a bookshelf. It was a large table where no one really sat since students preferred to work in groups. University life was different to high school. You had other friends which was nice; Sana did Biochem, so it was hard to get a hold of her, Chan was a sports and exercise student, and Seungmin studied nutrition. Jisung also had some friends from high school like Changbin who was doing the same course as you – literature- although he focused on the poetry section more, and Hyunjin who studied business and management. You did meet them often but of course you were closer to Jisung.

You saw the packaged croissant and the coffee on the table, and you thanked Jisung. He took his time to actually get you coffee before your lecture. “you have a couple minutes, at least you can drink it during the class!” he pats your shoulder. “don’t you have a lecture at 11am?” you ask him since that’s when yours finish. He nods. “I’ll be done by 2-ish? We can go and grab some lunch if you want?” he suggests. “how about we meet with Sana, Chan, Seungmin and Changbin for lunch?” you counter-suggest – if that is a word!-

“is Hyunjin busy?” Jisung asks a little confused. “Oh no he WAS the one who asked the other day and I replied to him now.” You smile so Jisung goes along with whatever you wanted to do.

You open your notebook to take some notes for your class and you see Changbin walking in and he sees you. Changbin was intimidating, at first glance, although he was sensitive and kind when you talk to him and get to know him better. “hey, I’m not late right?” he asks getting out his Ipad to take notes. You shake your head; “have you got your anthology yet?” Changbin asked you. You shake your head, you forgot about the anthology. “well that’s good because I saved you one,” he hands you the book of poetry. You were relieved, your degree relied on this book. “oh my god thank you!” You show your gratitude. “anything for a friend of Jisung’s and mine,” he smiles before turning back to face the front as the lecturer walks in and begins.

After class and meeting with your other friends for lunch, you all met at an Italian restaurant which was incredibly popular. It had been a while since you had a meal with all of them since classes took over your lives. “hey isn’t your birthday tomorrow?” Sana asks, her sweet smile brightening up the entire room. “Yeah it is wh-” but before you could say anything, she hands you a tiny pink bag. “I might have time so I got your gift today!” Sana was such an amazing friend. You thank her and open the bag and the small box inside to reveal an teddy keyring with your initials engraved on a small silver plaque looking keyring. “omg this is so cute thank you so much!”

“Now, open my one,” Jisung holds a blue bag with silver ribbon on the front. “now?” you ask him. “well yeah you opened Sana’s one?” so you opened the bag and it was in a slightly larger box; once you opened it a small gasp left your mouth and at that exact moment the food arrived. “what great timing I’m so hungry!” Changbin went in for the food and everyone else followed, conversing with each other and catching up, but you were still trying to process what he bought you. A silver necklace with a daisy charm and both of your initials on the back. “I’ll always be here for you, you know how that daisy chain is so sentimental to me, I hope this is too.” He leans in and quietly speaks. You were lost for words. You tried to splutter out a thank you, but he knew how thankful you were from your mere reaction.

The evening went as planned; you and your friends hung out after so long, work was intense but having a cheat day like this was indeed liberating. Jisung taps your shoulder gently as you wave Sana goodbye under a dimmed streetlight and the obscure night sky. It was hazy tonight; the cool fog making it hard to see anything ahead of you. Jisung stood next to you and you turned to him once Sana left. “are you thinking what I’m thinking Han?” you give a playful smile and rock back and forth on your tiptoes, “coffee and cake?” he asks as if he didn’t know that was your thing with him. “Of course!” you put your hands on his back and push him in the direction you wanted to go in; “over there!” you point. It was a night café situated along a remote street that was diverted away from main traffic. A large white sign lit up the dark street which directed you and Jisung to a well-lit night café that had a couple people inside enjoying their night with their friends or significant other. There were outdoor seats which weren’t occupied because of the drop in temperature but it would be nice to come here more often since the location was incredible. Jisung pushes the door open and lets you in first, following you and looking around for somewhere to sit. A circular table with two chairs in the farthest corner which was surrounded by bookshelves but renowned authors; Jisung chose to sit there and asked you to go and reserve that seat. “What are you doing?” your voice conveying disarray. “it’s on me tonight,” his smile appeared. That smile. Your heart did that thing again though you shook it off. It was nothing right? You sat yourself down, putting your purse on the table along with your phone; the books were intriguing you, there were many of them ranging from sonnets and poems to crime and mystery literature. You knew you weren’t much of a reader, but one did capture your attention. It was by an author called Ivan Turgenev, the book was called ‘First love and other stories’ – people writing about love was something you wish you could’ve done but you don’t know how love feels? The cover of the book was rough a cerise fabric-like texture, the title written in a gold on the spine of the book. Jisung comes over unexpectedly and leans over your shoulder eyeing at the hardback you seized. “what’s that? Love stories?” he pouts as you turn around in a panic, Jisung grabbing the book out of your hand, his fingertips grazing against your hand. If you had your Apple watch on right now, your heart rate would’ve been way too obvious. “O-Oh I was looking at the book shelf, they have so many well-known books and authors an-” your flustered ramble was interrupted by Jisung; “you want to read love stories, that’s understandable… it’s a good book I would recommend it,” he hands the book gently and points at the tray with the coffee cups filled to the top, the two cheesecake slices; one orange and the other strawberry. You gasp at the orange cheesecake – “oh my god they exist!” you sat down at the table, tucking the chair in. The aroma of the roasted coffee beans was intense although it made you feel comfort. You glance up at Jisung as he picks up the silver form and digs into the tip of the cheesecake, allowing there to be enough strawberry syrup and cheesecake. He holds it up to his mouth and notices you looking at him – with the most stupid look on your face, painted with adoration – so he held it out for you. “here, try it before I do,” his expressions were soft and gentle. “huh? Why, it’s yours?” you try to refuse. It didn’t work. “because-” he thinks for a second, “sharing is caring.” He fondly beams. You couldn’t deny it but he held the fork and you endured such sweetness swirling around, dancing on your tastebuds, the bitterness of your coffee counteracting with the dessert; it was utterly perfect. “nice?” he asks. “of course, as always!”

You didn’t realise at the time, but it was an analogy that you didn’t realise. The bitterness occurring in your life being stabilised by someone so sweet, attentive and ever so cherishing. It made sense.

You took a forkful of your orange cheesecake although it didn’t cater to your taste. “are you alright, do you not like it?” Jisung asks you. You shake your head, “ it tastes too artificial..” you hold the remaining cake on your fork and place it on the plate. It was disappointing, yes but Jisung swapped the ceramic plates with his. “here have mine, I’ll have this!” he takes whatever remained on the fork and takes a bigger chunk. You know what they say about sharing drinks, does it apply to forks? “O-oh thank you Han,” you smile softly, you couldn’t help but feel so warm inside. After spending some time at the café it was time to go home although Jisung insisted he would take you home safely first before he goes home. “no no, I can go myself,” you asserted. Jisung tutted and rolled his eyes playfully as he always does. “Why?” you ask waiting for a valid response. “Because it’ll take you even longer to get home!” you raise your voice a little louder but not too loud to bring attention. “well.. I’ve stayed over before..” he reminded you. Ah yes.. he did didn’t he. Your parents were okay with Jisung and already mentioned that if you dated him, it’d be best. God why did they think like that? “I’m joking, I’ll get a taxi and we can go together,” he thought. You nod agreeing with him.

A couple weeks pass and you were on call to Jisung whilst studying. It was really late, around 2am but your Film project wasn’t going to do itself. He kept company since he just never slept. “want me to come over to study with you?” he asks. You were shocked at the offer. “at 2am? Are you crazy!” your voice becomes a little harsh as you tried to stay quiet. “maybe we should look for campus accommodation or an apartment we can split the rent for!” he suggests. It wasn’t a horrible idea, there would be some leeway for you to do whatever you like. “I’ll see for next semester; we can get looking though!” although you didn’t realise, he meant move in together. You and Jisung met up later that day at the university library, your laptop with all your editing software open, editing your short film that you filmed of him. It was about how you romanticised life and how everything was symbolic for something; Jisung pointed at himself. “what do I symbolise,” he asks tilting his head taking in the moving image. You pause, what if your feelings have changed? You lied. “you’re my best friend of course,” you smile through the pain knowing he will never feel the same. His cheeks flare a rosy hue. Even such words made him happy. “hey,” he enquires, “are you free August 1st?” you think for a moment. “That’s a couple months away but I should be, I can make sure nothing happens that day, why?” You seemed so confused. “My family and I are going to Jeju for a visit and I was wondering if you wanted to come as well?”

Oh.

“That would be nice, I haven’t been there yet either,” you let out a quiet laughter. “please, it would be so nice to have you there too!” he leans into you a little and laying his head on the table and smiling. Stop smiling like that – you think. “maybe I’ll consider it if you weren’t acting like a child,” your nervousness was seeping through. “a child? Isn’t that just my ecstatic personality hm?”

You scoff and continue focusing on your editing, a deep feeling of resent brewing within – why did you film Jisung AND fall for him? Wasn’t falling in love with your best friend a crime in any friendship? You took a deep breath; if you ignore it, it will be fine.

You stare at your oyster-white ceiling, covered in plastic leaf vines along the ends of your room the window open ajar enough to let in the gelid night breeze in, gliding onto your begs making you quiver. You didn’t want to shut it, you were too consumed by sundry thoughts about him; the way your heart thumped out of your chest, it paining you to see his boxy smile or when he would run up to you and embraced his arms around you tenderly full of compassion. He cared so much for you but you felt like you were too late to return any of it. Feelings are the way they are; ruthless in nature, eradicating almost every bit of rational though you possessed. You groaned feeling ever so dishevelled. You hand on your chest and a stone in your throat; you found it hard to accept you liked him – a lot more than just ‘like’, that word was too ineffective. Jisung’s pure demeanour flashes in and out of your head; when his hand touched yours when you held that one book at the night café, the way he let you have his jacket as a shelter, the way he kept the shrivelled-up daisy chain on his shelf; it was the way he did everything for you. Jisung played the guitar for you nearly every time you asked and sung for you even though he wasn’t confident in his vocals. But you didn’t want to bring your hopes up and embarrass yourself. That’s when it happened – the butterflies intruded and that’s when you knew your monotonous routine of life was demolished. With that being said, your eyes began to heavy, shutting slightly before your eyes fully closed. Dreamland is where you were transported to you…

Your trip to Dreamland gave you all the answers you needed.

It was a Saturday and you waited outside of a café waiting for Jisung. It was warmer, much warmer. You remembered that one winter’s evening when you and Jisung were caught in a storm in the exact place. You switch your phone on to see the time, the photo of you and Jisung gleaming back at you. It was a cute photo; Jisung slyly ate some of your ice cream getting a little bit on the tip of his nose and you laughing at him and wiping it off with your thumb. Your other friends really liked capturing you two, they said you were soulmates which you ignored because you didn’t believe in soulmates. Emphasis on didn’t – times change and so do people.

“Hey!” Jisung startled you, nearly dropping your phone. “you alright there,” he chuckled at you. “Not funny!” you couldn’t help but smile. “you seem to be in a good mood!” he smiles with his teeth, draping his arm around you, clutching his fist to respect you. “so what do you want to do today?” he asks you.

“why do you keep asking me?” you pout slightly. “why not?” Jisung pushes his hair back, his chestnut locks resting back into its natural position.

“We should go to a café then get matching bracelets because YOU promised we’d get matching ones and then maybe at sun set, go to Namsan Tower?” you suggest. “Did you plan this last night when I told you to go to sleep?”

You didn’t, you saw it in your dream.

“l-lets just go!” you grab his arm and take him inside the café to get a cool drink to quench your thirst.

His eyes attentively scanned the menu, looking at all the cold drinks he could get. “what are you getting,” he asked. “hmm I really feel like having the grapefruit one!” you point at the menu, “what are you getting?” you ask Jisung, “which one sounds nice?” he asks again.

You can the menu again; “blueberry tea sounds really tasty!” you say. He nods that same look of compassion; he was enthralled by you yet you didn’t even know.

***

She was beautiful. The way she looked up at me and smiled; her fierce attitude to everything made me want to scream, toss and turn in my bed; she made the butterflies in my stomach go wild. I was foolish for falling for her – my best friend – but what can I do if whenever I see her, the tempestuous storm within me is appeased at her presence. She makes me feel at home. Her amicable nature, so captivating. The face she made when she was displeased was endearing even if she thought it was hideous, to me she was like a gem that was waiting to be found and I’m glad to have found her first. I was devoted to her; there won’t be another who makes me feel the way she does. She’s my first love. And I am willing for her to be my last if nothing is returned. Her happiness is all that matters to me…

***

Sipping your drinks in the sunlight was refreshing. You both got your bracelets to match; inexpensive yet it meant the whole world to you – and him. “there are some benches over there!” you point, grabbing his spare hand without a second though and running towards it. The sun began to wane and the stars began to emerge; simultaneously, the sky bled into an inky black allowing the stars to glow and gleam brightly. It was like how Jisung endured everything for you to let you shine. Like in school, how he would quite literally get hurt to keep you safe. You owed him a lot. “isn’t the moon really pretty tonight?” you point at the lustrous pearly orb that reigned the void sheathing the earth. “yeah, she’s really pretty tonight,” Jisung speaks softly. You didn’t realise how Jisung said ‘she’; he gazed at you, infatuated by none other than you. His fingers twitched to intertwine between your fingers, to lay a gentle kiss on your cheek. He waited for the right time.

A few months went by until it was the day of the trip Jisung planned to go on with his family. You stand in the centre of your bedroom with a small suitcase since it was for two weeks; you packed your necessities and your chargers, some hair ties and your book. You zipped up your suitcase and grabbed your other bag to throw in your pouch, phone, airpods and whatever else you needed easy access to. Jisung walks into your room with a knock; “hey your mum let me in, ready for me to take your stuff?”

And from there, everything began to unfold.

The journey there was peaceful considering the fact you always fell asleep at least 15 minutes into any car journey. Your head resting against the car window, although Jisung noticed that it wasn’t very relaxing when your head kept bumping against the car; he moved to the middle and gently moved your head to rest onto his shoulder his arm around you, so you were comfortable. He could feel his heart explode 50 fireworks every time he looked at you. He was spellbound by you.

***

Your Island holiday started off with a tour of Jisung’s holiday home; a pretty looking home with sliding doors and traditional architecture. “This is my room, and I think my parents are allowing you your own room which is the guest room,” he opened the door to the guest room and you were rapt but the view it had of the ocean. You dropped your bags and ran to the large windows and swung then open; the sound of the birds and the swashing of the sea infused your system. It felt refreshing. “It’s really pretty isn’t it, I love coming here,” he leaned against the window sill. Especially with you. He thought. “well, I’ll let you get comfortable and perhaps we can go exploring a little bit or we might have something to eat.. I don’t know but get comfy!” he says before shutting the door and leaving you alone with the ocean and your busy mind to unwind.

The saxe blue ocean pushed up against the bisque grains of sand, pulling back and leaving behind a platinum foamy residue. You thought of you and Jisung holding hands and walking down the beach at sunset like every couple does. The air felt lighter so you inhaled deeply and tried to let go of everything you had on your mind. You heard a knock at the door; it was Jisung’s mother. “are you hungry?” she smiled with immense amount of love and gentleness in her eyes. “of course! I’ll come now!” you close the windows and grab your phone as his mother smiled at you. Family meals with his family felt so natural although today Jisung was a lot more reserved as usual. Usually he would say something stupid or be extroverted. “You okay?” you whisper across the table. “h-huh, OH yeah I am, I’m tired that’s all.”

It wasn’t like him but you knew it wasn’t you that was the reason.

After dinner, you followed him back to the bedrooms; “Jisung,” you utter “Hm?” he turns around, the pair of you face to face now. “Do you want to watch the stars with me?” you ask nervously but you saw the way his brows raise from a furrow and the corner of his lips raise. “Of course I would, I’ll go change and come to you alright?” you nod your head and do the same thing. As you close the door you exhale. You don’t know why you were so nervous. But soon enough, he knocked and asked permission to come in. You both sat on the bed and gazed at the twinkling stars outside; “sometimes I wish I could be a star,” you begin. “Why is that?” Jisung asks looking down at you laying your head near thigh; “they’re so carefree and pretty and I-”

“but so are you?” he defends. “what?” you get up and look at him, your hair covering the sides of your face. He tucks your hair behind your ear; “you mean more than you think, to someone out there you just don’t know yet.. The way we’re looking at stars right now someone must’ve saw you the same way and wished they saw you again.. because it’s hard to find ONE special star amongst many,” Jisung was extremely poetic today.

“Han-” you were interrupted again. “the moon is out again, look!” he points as you lay back down this time on his thigh as he shifted it closer to where you were laying. It felt natural. His hand hesitated to touch your hair, to play with your locks but he found the courage to. You felt your soul levitate but luckily he couldn’t see your face.

***

The sun beamed into your room, the light material curtains flailing in the ocean breeze; Jisung wasn’t in the room. You were resting on a pillow with a blanket over you, it seems like he left later when you fell asleep again. The aroma of breakfast began to waft through the gap of the door to which you thought it would be a good idea to get up and get ready. You opened the door and yelped as you saw Jisung smiling ear to ear at your door. “Good morning sleepy head-” as he grabbed your hand. “w-wow where are we going!” you yelped. “breakfast but at a special place!” he says. “bye we’ll be back!” Jisung waves to his parents. You make your way down paths until you reached a little shop – a coffee shop. “I loved this place and I always wanted to bring you here!” he opens the door and the strong scent of bread and other patisserie struck you. “this is where my love for cheesecake came from!” he smiles. He seemed very happy.

You panicked internally. Did..you kiss! That thought didn’t feel right !!

***

Jisung toured you around. He showed you places he used to love as a child and things that made him happy – even happier that he could share it with you – from the rocks near the sea, to the bakery. He showed you where he carved his name on a tree on the way back to the family home. “maybe I should carve yours too!” he looks for a sharp stone and gets right to it. You watch him be so happy and acted out to yourself how you would confess to him. maybe you shouldn’t right? Soon after, you both slowly walked home but Jisung stopped again. “hey look!” he points at this tree. “what about it?” you ask until you looked up to see bright orange oranges hanging from verdant leaves. “oh my! I want one!” you say trying to grab out until Jisung stands extremely close behind you leaning over to twist one off. “Thanks-” you say although he begins peeling the skin off himself with a smile of endearment painted across his face. “I can do it myself!” you try to grab it off him. “aaaa-” he says holding a piece to your mouth with your accept, his thumb grazing against your bottom lip. “oh it’s really tasty!” you say. “open wide,” he jokes as he holds another one. “I’m not a baby!” you whine. “yeah you are,” he laughs running forward. “come and get me!”

This was the Jisung you knew and loved.

He grabbed your hand once you caught up to him, his fingers intentionally interlocking fingers and smirking at you playfully before running back to the house. You had so much fun. More than you usually do and you felt closer to Jisung. The exchanging of looks and playfully flirty remarks is all that you would remember from today. Especially, his thumb grazing your bottom lip; his soft gaze was still intense; it still made you feel nervous.

Being with Jisung was homely. His genial personality making you fall for him further. That night, you sat in the bed of the guest room, the owls hooting outside and trees rustling as the oceans began to sound turbulent. You were a little frightened and you debated going to Jisung. “screw it!” you thought. You knock at his door and hope he isn’t asleep. There wasn’t an answer so you turned around to go back into your room until your hear the handle lower and open. “you okay?” he asked, looking genuinely concerned. You gulped at the way he presented himself, his hair messy and eyes weary. “I didn’t mean to disturb you I-I’m just a bit scared…” you mumbled. “scared?” he repeated. “yeah! Don’t repeat it I feel STUPID!”

He lets out a soft chuckle and holds out his hand; “I’m watching a show right now if you want to join me?” he offers. You take his hand and he closes the door behind him. He climbs into bed and leans against his headboard. “your space awaits,” he says in a deep voice mocking the character in the show making you smile. You slide under his sheets and against the headboard too although it felt abnormal. “you can lean on me if you want to, I don’t mind..” he says. “are you sure?” you ask gulping. He nods with great certainty. So you did what he said. You lowered yourself so your head was at his chest, leaning into him and unexpectedly he pulled you in closer.

The moment became incredibly intimate. His heart was beating fast, you could hear it thump out of his chest. You felt your pulse quicken too. This wasn’t normal at all. You were okay with intimacy but this moment felt … different.

“are you okay?” he asks, his voice slightly husky, his fingers gently skimming the side of your arm. You stay still, debating to confess or to just lean in and get it done and over with. No. He wouldn’t do that. You sit up, his arm moving away from you; you face him and take a deep breath. “what’s wro-” he gets cut off by your confession.

“ I love you Jisung..” you blurt out closing your eyes hoping he’d say something – even if it was the opposite of what you were expecting. Although whilst your eyes were closed there was silence which was shattered by Jisung’s laugh. He lay his hand on yours, his other hand just below your jaw: “open your eyes for me,” he begins, your eyes slowly peering at him. It was like someone burst a colour bomb in the room; he was radiating indigo, pink and orange – he was happy. Although words were not exchanged, actions were.

Actions speak louder than words

His arm placed itself around your waist pulling you in closer to him as you kneeled on his bed. He closed his eyes and leaned closer to your lips, a paroxysm of emotions and feelings being exchanged between two lovers. The pure infatuation between you and him felt like true love, everything felt like two puzzle pieces attaching to create a piece of art that longed to be complete. The large boulder that sat on your chest had gone, you felt like a feather floating through the gates of heaven. The sweet exchange between you and Jisung, his hands ever so gently holding you; he loved you this whole time but waited for you. You lay next to him, his eyes so effervescent and glossy, his fingers caress the side of your cheek. “I love you more than you would ever have expected me to…” he confesses lowly “ I was waiting for you,”

I was waiting for you.

Everything felt so complete with your heart and Jisung’s heart merged into one. Daisies, clementine’s, and August 1st. You wished for nothing more and nor did he. Even in another life, you would always be his first love

First love. Something so pure and magnificent, something that changed the repetitive customs of life; something that gave variety and prosperity to existence. Even when seasons change, Clementines and Daisies will be what bound you with your first love; Jisung was your first love and transpires to be your last.

Everything was falling into place and had been since whenever he grew feelings for you. The way you sandwiched his cheeks with heat packs, or the way you held his hand with one heat pack. Not to forget the way he would always buy your second choice so you didn’t have any regrets. The way Jisung’s gentle touches made a pit in your stomach fall everytime like the one time at the night cafe when you were looking at the books. Not to forget the way his thumb grazed your lips... Everything was just right.

***

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